Feel the Change

You just came up with the greatest idea ever. How do you go about convincing your team that this new idea, program etc. is the way to go? How do you encourage your team to get on board and commit to this great change that you want to put in place?

 

Exceptional leaders understand that sometimes they need to flex their persuasive muscle.

 

Understanding organizational Change and how employees react to change, is my sweet spot. However, I was surprised by a recent experience that I had working with a client. In my haste to get to the finish line, I realized that I had left out important steps needed to help someone shift perspective and embrace change.

 

I was coaching a client on improving their team’s performance. I knew that the team would greatly benefit from some soft skills training. I droned on and on about all the different training pieces that could be presented, but I didn’t sense any traction. On and on I went, like a broken record, for a number of different sessions. However, I was met with a number of reasons why none of the trainings would be the right fit.

 

I was frustrated.  I knew exactly what would solve the problem, but obviously, my client just couldn’t visualize this.  At the next session, I decided to take the client through a self-awareness exercise that would help him envision firsthand, what his team could experience.

 

As we worked our way through the exercise, I closely watched the leader. I began to see how things were beginning to come into focus for him. It began to solidify a number of issues for the leader and what was truly important to him.

 

Once we had this experience, I asked him to think about his team. What would they gain out of this experience? What would they learn about themselves and how would it help them become better employees and people?

 

The lightbulb had turned on.

 

He finally understood how this experience could be a great start to helping his team grow. You could see the excitement and passion as the two of us talked about how we could accomplish this and where this would lead.

 

And that’s when I realized that I was forgetting an important part of helping someone embrace change. Facts and data were just not going to sell him on the value of this process. Yes, it might be a piece of it, but I needed to do more if I wanted him to move forward.  I needed to make him “feel” the change and be emotionally involved in the experience.

 

I had forgotten something so simple.

 

Are you in the process of making some changes at work? Don’t underestimate the need to get your people on board. Giving them the facts to back up this change is essential, however, don’t forget how emotion also plays into the process. Help them “feel” the need for change.

 

Be the Change

smiling pugI walked into my office and noticed something strange. Joey the Cat was taking a nice long nap in Miles the Pug’s bed. That was the first time that Joey ever had made any attempt to get close to the bed.

 

You see, Miles calls the shots in our house. Joey will always slink carefully into the room to make sure that Miles is nowhere around. Between you and me, I believe that Miles is all bark but no bite, but his actions have convinced Joey that he must stay on guard and be careful. He is clearly the alpha dog and rules the house.

 

For some reason, Joey had decided to make some changes in his life and took the big step to sleep in Miles’s bed. It was a gutsy move after all these years.

 

A couple days later, I found Joey sleeping on the chair in my bedroom. What’s unusual about this is that it’s a well-known fact that the chair with the throw belongs to Miles. I found this behavior odd and had never seen Joey attempt such a move. I chuckled about this and went about my work for the day.

 

The next day, I found Joey asleep in Miles’ bed again. Then it got interesting. Miles walked into the room and got ready to get in his bed. I held my breath as I waited to see what would happen next. Joey looked up and made no attempt to move a muscle. He put his head back down and went to sleep. Miles just stood still and stared, confused by this new turn of events. Eventually, he decided to go under my desk and fall asleep.

 

How and why did this happen? The cat and dog had spent years knowing their well-defined roles and playing them out on a regular basis. But here they were, changing things up in a big way.

 

Suddenly, Joey had changed his behavior, which led to a totally different and surprising outcome.

 

I work with many organizations where teams are having difficulty collaborating and working together. Often, certain individuals within the team will be struggling to get along. The complaints usually focus on the other person’s personality traits, negative behavior or shortcomings that they feel impede their ability to work with them successfully.

 

Very rarely do they see how their own behavior might be blocking their path to success. By focusing on the other’s faults, they have difficulty seeing how changing their own behavior and communication could quite possibly change the outcome. Each member is playing their defined role and will continue to play their role until something or someone changes. But it’s often so hard to see that clearly.

 

If this hits home with you, give some thought as to how you might be playing into this negative situation. What responsibility do you need to take to change the situation from one that is negative to positive?

 

Be like Joey and take a leap of faith— take the initiative to change the situation.

 

Decisive Moments

image pathThere are a number of behaviors that translate into becoming a successful leader in the workplace. However, I believe that what really separates the employees from the true leaders are the decisions that you make in those tough times. What matters are those certain behaviors that you display in the challenging times, in the face of CHANGE, when it would be easier to do what feels good in the short term instead of what’s right for you and others in the long term. The actions you take in those defining moments either chart a course for success or steer you further from your goals.

 

When you need to just let it go

Maybe you’re aggravated beyond belief that your peer, who doesn’t work as hard as you, just got the promotion that you have wanted forever. Or maybe, you have a peer that repeated some information that you told them in confidence. It could be that you have someone you work with that didn’t support you in an office meeting (when they said that they would). You can’t stop steaming that they did this to you and it’s always on the forefront of your mind. But here’s the thing— not letting this go is getting in the way of you putting your best foot forward NOW. You are reliving yesterday on a daily basis. It’s like lugging an extra 10 pounds around your neck every day to work. The bottom line is that focusing on the past zaps your energy and blocks your ability to focus on positive outcomes in the present.

 

Knowing which battles to fight

You know exactly how to solve the identified problem in the weekly meeting but your boss has other ideas. You see how important this is to your boss and you know him well enough to predict accurately that if you speak up it will only irritate him and get him to dig in his heels even more. It takes everything in you to keep quiet and let things unfold on their own. Great leaders realize that not every situation deems your need to push the issue. Great leaders know that they must be strategic about when to fight the battle and when to just let things be. It’s very possible that you can have the right answer but others aren’t ready to hear it yet.

 

Apologizing when you know that you are right

Saying you’re sorry is hard. Actually, it’s hard enough when you really are in the wrong. However, as a leader there might be times when you have to apologize when you technically aren’t responsible and you’re actually right. This act takes strength of character and integrity. Despite the fact that you’re right, taking responsibility in certain situations enables everyone to have closure and move forward. Again, it’s about thinking strategically and realizing what is best for everyone in the long run, and not only what makes YOU feel good now.

 

Becoming a successful leader takes time. You are human so you are prone to making mistakes. With self-awareness, you can learn from your missteps in the workplace and tackle the tough times with confidence and grace.

 

 

Fear of CHANGE

image fear of changeA couple of months ago, I was coaching a client that was struggling to make changes in his work and home life. He was having difficulty focusing on his responsibilities and felt miserably stuck. Everyday was another lesson in futility. From his vantage point, he had no options to change the situation.

 

As an exercise, I suggested that we make a list of all the choices that he had in life. He was to write down every single choice that came to mind, devoid of judgment. I was impressed by his ability to list the different choices that he had, no matter how crazy they seemed. After the list was completed, we went through the choices and took a closer look at each one of them.

 

One by one, we discussed the choices in detail. One by one, he would give me all the reasons why the choice would absolutely never work. I tried to help him see each choice from a fresh perspective, but no matter what I did, he had a whole list of compelling reasons why it would fail.

 

I looked at him for awhile and then I said calmly, “Do you notice that you’ve vehemently explained to me why none of these ideas work when you originally thought these ideas were great? Why do you think that is?”

 

Sometimes we are so scared of trying something new that we will stay in a horrible situation. There are a lot of uncertainties in trying something new. We don’t know exactly what’s going to happen. We aren’t sure how things are going to progress. Fear of the unknown causes us to stay exactly where we are. Fear of failure can take ahold of us and rule our life. The truth is that not making a choice and staying stuck is also failing.

 

Change is hard. It’s hard for people and it’s hard for organizations.

 

At some point in your life, you have sat in this very same chair. You have lamented how unhappy you are, yet still aggressively fought the possibility of any change. Fighting the change ensured that you would be safe from failure. Or did it?

 

My suggestion is to make one change. The change doesn’t have to be huge; it just has to be one teeny tiny step that moves you in the direction of your goal. After you have done this, take another tiny step and another. This pushes you out of your paralysis stage and into an action stage.

 

Be honest and recognize that your reasoning for shooting down all your choices is tied up in your fear of what waits on the other side. Accept the emotion and continue to take small incremental steps.

 

Along the way, be sure to remind yourself that the FEAR of FEAR is far worse than the fear itself.

Phone Addiction

image on phoneI noticed something interesting this morning when I finished my exercise class. As I walked over to grab all my stuff and go home, I took a good look at all the other people getting ready to leave. Instead of talking to each other and discussing the class and life, every single one of them was staring down at their phones. There were 5 people lined up against the wall, all engrossed in their smartphones.

 

This made me chuckle and think about another incident that recently got my attention.

 

I attended a wedding with my whole family. I was so happy to have everyone together to celebrate this joyous occasion. After eating, I pulled everyone out on the dance floor. For a good 45 minutes, we laughed and danced like crazy to the music. Suddenly, I looked over to the closest table to the dance floor. There were about ten people at the table, all in their 20’s. Every single one of them sat silently, staring at their phone.

 

No one engaged in conversation and no one looked up from their phone. Honestly, it was the strangest and saddest thing I had ever seen. In fact, I pointed it out to my son, who quickly snapped a picture of it on his OWN phone.

 

There we were, engaged in the moment, celebrating this big event. However, instead of being in the “here and now”, the group of 10 were isolated with their technology.

 

There’s a story about a CEO of a large billion-dollar company that decided to change his policy for their weekly tactical meetings. As each member of the leadership team entered the room, the CEO motioned for them to place their phones in the box he was holding. He reported that the first meeting didn’t go too well. The team was fidgety and irritated with the change in rules. However, over time he found that the team’s conversations became more meaningful, and the team became more effective and productive. They were focused on NOW.

 

Do you realize how powerful it was to have all that talent in the room with no distractions?

 

I have definitely noticed this issue in my last couple of training presentations. When working with a small group, participants will inevitably utilize their smartphones to check email, etc. during the training. Even when I make a point to ask employees to stay off their phone, there are always a couple of offenders.

 

There are two reasons why this is happening. First, it is no longer seen as bad manners to interrupt what you are doing to check or be on your phone. Second, this behavior has become such a habit that we have difficulty changing this wired action. We are compelled to reach for our phones without even being aware that we are doing it.

 

I’m unsure how this smartphone behavior is going to manifest in the future workforce. In some ways, it helps us accelerate business, but in other ways, it’s a total distraction, a drain on our productivity and a barrier to creative problem solving.

 

I believe what’s needed are some boundaries with smartphone usage. Leadership must role model good behavior and have expectations that there are times where usage is off limits.

 

Organizations want engaged, creative, productive workers and that comes with eliminating the distractions during work. The best work comes out of people that can truly focus on the task at hand.

Understanding Others

image understandingI overheard two business owners having a conversation the other day. Since they were talking about CHANGE, my ears perked up. The one was sharing that he needed to make a behavior change within his team of employees but was confused as to how he should solve the problem. He explained the negative behavior to the other owner and laid out his frustrations in detail.

 

The other CEO’s face lit up with the solution. He shared that all you had to do was show your employees the “numbers”. His thought was that if you help them see through graphs and figures WHY they should change, then it will happen.

 

As you can imagine, I found this exchange fascinating. These two individuals were bright, successful people that ran profitable companies. They were strategic, intelligent, hard workers. However, they didn’t understand the first thing about making behavior change in the workplace— or anywhere, for that matter.

 

Let me backtrack a bit to explain further. Nicolas Epley, author of the book Mindwise, says the main problem is that we think we understand the minds of others, and even our own mind, better than we do. Maybe this business owner truly believes in his mind that he, personally, would be swayed to change behavior by just seeing the facts that prove the point. He then assumes that if he feels that way, everyone else feels that way as well.

 

However, I beg to differ. I know he thinks that he would be swayed to change if presented with facts, but I’m not sure he has a good read on his own feelings and behavior. I doubt very much that sharing any information is going to solve the problem. This change that the business owner wants to make is entrenched in habits, and reinforced in the company culture. It’s going to take a heck of a lot more than a graph on a Powerpoint to encourage his employees to make this behavior change.

 

And that’s the real issue here. Leadership believes that if they just keep sharing the facts over and over, employees will hop on board and easily make the change. They assume that since it makes perfect sense to them, in their own minds, it will make perfect sense to everyone else as well.

 

The first thing that you need to realize is that sometimes, we aren’t even aware WHY we do the things that we do. Our decisions and actions are tied up in our own values, assumptions and past experiences. At times, these can get quite complicated. Believing that just sharing facts on a Powerpoint will convince others to implement change is simplistic at best.

 

The second point to remember goes back to Nicolas Epley’s statement. Often, we can’t read other people’s mind half as well as we think we can. We make assumptions about how individuals are feeling and thinking that are often quite wrong. We then move on to strategic plans based on this information. This makes the whole process of implementing any CHANGE that much harder.

 

I ask you to come to terms with this one thought if you are embarking on any sort of CHANGE initiative in the workplace or beyond:

 

Don’t assume others think, feel and are motivated in the same manner as you. Work hard to get outside your own feelings, assumptions and judgments.

Understanding Others

image understandingI overheard two business owners having a conversation the other day. Since they were talking about CHANGE, my ears perked up. The one was sharing that he needed to make a behavior change within his team of employees but was confused as to how he should solve the problem. He explained the negative behavior to the other owner and laid out his frustrations in detail.

 

The other CEO’s face lit up with the solution. He shared that all you had to do was show your employees the “numbers”. His thought was that if you help them see through graphs and figures WHY they should change, then it will happen.

 

As you can imagine, I found this exchange fascinating. These two individuals were bright, successful people that ran profitable companies. They were strategic, intelligent, hard workers. However, they didn’t understand the first thing about making behavior change in the workplace— or anywhere, for that matter.

 

Let me backtrack a bit to explain further. Nicolas Epley, author of the book Mindwise, says the main problem is that we think we understand the minds of others, and even our own mind, better than we do. Maybe this business owner truly believes in his mind that he, personally, would be swayed to change behavior by just seeing the facts that prove the point. He then assumes that if he feels that way, everyone else feels that way as well.

 

However, I beg to differ. I know he thinks that he would be swayed to change if presented with facts, but I’m not sure he has a good read on his own feelings and behavior. I doubt very much that sharing any information is going to solve the problem. This change that the business owner wants to make is entrenched in habits, and reinforced in the company culture. It’s going to take a heck of a lot more than a graph on a Powerpoint to encourage his employees to make this behavior change.

 

And that’s the real issue here. Leadership believes that if they just keep sharing the facts over and over, employees will hop on board and easily make the change. They assume that since it makes perfect sense to them, in their own minds, it will make perfect sense to everyone else as well.

 

The first thing that you need to realize is that sometimes, we aren’t even aware WHY we do the things that we do. Our decisions and actions are tied up in our own values, assumptions and past experiences. At times, these can get quite complicated. Believing that just sharing facts on a Powerpoint will convince others to implement change is simplistic at best.

 

The second point to remember goes back to Nicolas Epley’s statement. Often, we can’t read other people’s mind half as well as we think we can. We make assumptions about how individuals are feeling and thinking that are often quite wrong. We then move on to strategic plans based on this information. This makes the whole process of implementing any CHANGE that much harder.

 

I ask you to come to terms with this one thought if you are embarking on any sort of CHANGE initiative in the workplace or beyond:

 

Don’t assume others think, feel and are motivated in the same manner as you. Work hard to get outside your own feelings, assumptions and judgments.

Working Smarter

image working smartRecently, I was working with a business client that was complaining about not having enough time in her day. I asked her to write her schedule down daily. When we reviewed the schedule the next week, she commented that she was certain I could see the problem. There just wasn’t enough time to accomplish everything important in her life!

 

What I did decipher, among other things, was that she worked an unbelievable amount of hours in her career. In fact, she worked well over 60 of them. Now, I’m sure that this bit of information does not faze some of you. You see a clear connection between the number of hours you work weekly and your desired career success. However, I beg to differ.

 

I own my own business and am quite guilty of working my fair share of 60-hour weeks, or more. It’s not unusual for me to be working 7 days a week on some aspect of my job. Yet, I noticed something yesterday that I want to share with you. Maybe this resonated with me because of the recent discussion with my client. Anyway, it was Saturday afternoon, and I was sitting at my desk. I had a to-do list beside me and knew exactly what I needed to accomplish. However, I was getting absolutely nothing done. Yes, I kept myself busy by jumping around on the internet and checking this or that- but I neglected to finish one thing on my list.

 

I was busy, but not with the tasks that I needed to accomplish.

 

I was mad at myself for not being able to be productive. I pulled up my accounts and began the task of filling in yesterday’s appointment updates. However, my brain was working in slow motion. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t focus on anything. Frustrated, I gave up after 2 hours of being “busy”.

 

Did you know that 4 in 10 Americans work over 50 hours a week? That probably doesn’t surprise you, but how about this tidbit: your productivity falls starting at 50 hours a week, and takes an even steeper decline at 55 hours weekly. Numerous studies back up the fact that at 55 hours, you become less efficient and the quality of your work declines.

 

Could this be the reason for the frustrating experience at my desk?

 

Maybe it’s not that we’re so busy in our lives as much as we waste time pretending like we’re working hard. Maybe we could get much more accomplished if we worked less hours and made those hours really matter.

 

My suggestion is to step back and take a good look at your work habits. Your life could possibly feel like it’s spinning out of control because you’re working hard, but you’re not working smart. You’re putting in the time, but you’re not making the MOST of your time. You could very well be like me and be wasting time, going through the motions of what you call work.

 

Before you consider implementing CHANGES, give some thought to the beliefs that you have about work. Do you believe that working hard is the only key to success? Does it soothe your guilt when you work? Do you think that it looks good to others? Does it enable you to ignore another part of your life?

 

Before you can make positive CHANGES, you need to understand what purpose overworking serves in your life.

 

Potential Risks

image looking over cliff

We were on our way back from a 40-mile bike ride when we heard people talking up ahead on the trail. As I peered off into the distance, I saw 5 people sitting in the grass, their bikes strewn about at the top of the hill. They had just accomplished a ride up the fairly steep elevation. It obviously had taken a lot of energy for the crew, since they had decided to take some time out to catch their breath. From our vantage point, we couldn’t see anything but the 5 people and the top of the hill.

 

My husband yelled to me, “I wonder if there’s anyone else coming up the hill?” I didn’t say anything, and then I heard him yell to the group and ask if there were anymore still making their way up the hill. They replied with a no and began to get back on their bikes.

 

As we rode down the hill, I thought about what had just transpired. It would have never occurred to me to think about whether there was anyone else coming up the hill. It just wouldn’t have been of concern to me. Nor would I have even followed my thought up with a question directed at the crew. It just wasn’t important.

 

However, this was very important to him. I assume he was thinking about sharing the trail as he flies down the hill, going 30 miles an hour. I also assume that he was being cautious and safe.

 

The whole potential danger would have never crossed my mind. I just assumed that no matter what was coming at me as I flew down the hill, I could control my bike and maneuver around the obstacle safely.

 

If we’re riding and we get off course, I don’t think it’s a big deal. Eventually, we will figure out where we are and find our way back to our path. It always works out. In fact, sometimes the alternative journey that we end up taking when we’ve lost our way turns out far better than our original planned itinerary.

 

Our perspectives in life can be explained in the experience that I just shared with you. He is always looking ahead, gauging the dangers and obstacles in his way and looking for the best, safest path to get to his end goal. In contrast, I’m just riding toward my goals in life, assuming that when something happens, I will have confidence to deal with it in the best possible way. If I get off course and lose my way, I trust that eventually, I will figure it out. I’m always certain that it will work out just fine.

 

I’m not saying that one way of thinking in your personal and professional life is far better than another. What I am saying is that it’s good to think about WHERE you fall on this continuum. There are a lot of uncertainties and disappointments as you make your way down the mountain of life— eventually you will hit a huge pothole and it will get you off track.

 

 

This will occur no matter how diligent you are at assessing potential risks. Eventually, something will happen.

 

 

Having a combination of the two approaches to life is really your best bet. Be as proactive as you can, assess the possible dangers and risks, but beyond that, try to just live life and chase your goals.

 

And make sure you have the skills of RESILIENCE to weather the storm.

 

 

Making Change Happen

image change picI was working out at the gym recently when I spied a new piece of cardio equipment. I noticed a few people trying it out and I was curious as to what I might be missing. Finally, I worked my way over to check it out. On my way, I passed one of the employees and I inquired about the machine.

 

She informed me that she already had used the new equipment and had stayed on this “climbing apparatus” for 70 minutes. Well, if she could do it, so could I. As I journeyed toward the machine, I came across a few other people that had tried it out. They all reassured me that it was very hard. I got snapped in and quickly started climbing. Within seconds, I felt myself struggling to catch my breath— it took all my willpower to stay on for 2 whole minutes. When I got off the machine, I was shaking and gasping for air.

 

I made it through a whole 2 minutes of climbing. Now, what irritated me about this experience was that I consider myself to be in pretty good shape. I bike long distances every weekend and I have built up my endurance. Yet, I struggled to make it through 2 minutes!

 

I decided that I was capable of much more than that first try. Two days later, I got on the climber and told myself that I was not getting off until it hit 5 minutes. A couple of days after that, I told myself that I was going to make it 10, and so on, until last week, when I made it through 45 minutes on that evil machine.

 

Now, how did that happen?

 

Along the way, people would come over to assess my progress. I would listen to their multitude of rationalizations as to why they shouldn’t and wouldn’t work out on this particular piece of equipment. In other words, they had excuses to not take action.

 

There’s a reason that I’m sharing this story and it’s not to impress everyone with my physical prowess. I don’t think that this experience is much different than anything you attempt to take on in life. The first time you try something new can be quite difficult and to be honest, failing miserably is not a good feeling. I’m betting that you’re a lot like me and you like to feel confident and comfortable in what you attempt in life. However, the key to making it to the other side is being willing to walk through the bad feelings.

 

You see, the individuals that I witnessed trying it out and never going back could not get past that uncomfortable feeling. They were not able to wait it out for those good feelings that finally kick in when you make it to 45 minutes. They could not see past RIGHT NOW.

 

And there you have it. Whether it’s a potential career opportunity at work, a new diet that you need to adopt, or the thought of a career switch, the future can look quite unpredictable and downright uncomfortable. However, if you can just acknowledge the way you feel, WHY you feel the way you do, recognize the rationalizations for what they truly are (excuses), and STILL push through the uncomfortable feelings, you’re going to achieve your life goals.