I was talking to a new friend the other day, and the conversation lead to the men in our lives and our relationships. My girlfriend asked me how long I had been married to my current husband. The reason I use the adjective current is because a fortuneteller told me years ago that I would have three husbands, fame and fortune during my lifetime. Maybe this woman reading my fortune was telepathically reading the next person in line, because all three of these so-called predictions seem a little far-fetched. Frankly, my man was miffed about the prediction since he assumes the other two men I will marry will be the ones that get to benefit from my fame and fortune. Apparently, he has not seen evidence of this prediction yet.
As the two of us discussed our marriages, we made the discovery that we had both been married a pretty long time. I think all of you out there would agree that 29 and 30 years is a long time with the same man. My girlfriend was an empty nester, just like me, and she was enjoying the new transition in her life. As we talked more specifically about our relationships, we made an interesting discovery. We both mentioned that we fight less now than earlier in our marriages. Now, when our men act “crabby” or “stupid”(insert appropriate adjective), we just let it go. I will repeat that for effect: We just let it go. We just leave the situation and don’t get upset. During a conversation later, we bluntly tell our men, devoid of emotion, how their behavior made us feel.
Now, maybe nothing I just mentioned sounds like any kind of revelation to you. But the point is this: my girlfriend has been married for 29 years and I have been married for 30. This might shock you, but neither of us is married to the perfect man yet we are still very happy in our relationships. One of the reasons our relationships stay intact is because we’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff. We practice self-preservation in our relationships–we refuse to take on our guy’s negative energy or get involved in their petty arguments or bad moods. Personally, I believe that someone else should not have the ability to control my happiness. I am a positive person and tend to have a glass half full in life. So, if my man chooses to have his glass half empty, or not even have a glass for that matter, he can do this…without me. Much later, when the mood has changed, I will calmly express how I felt about it.
So girls, since it took my girlfriend and I many years to figure this one out, we just wanted you to be “ahead of the game”. Don’t buy into this, don’t waste emotional energy being upset and don’t allow the man in your life to “rain on your parade”. Maybe we really have uncovered the secret to relationship bliss!