Potential Risks

image looking over cliff

We were on our way back from a 40-mile bike ride when we heard people talking up ahead on the trail. As I peered off into the distance, I saw 5 people sitting in the grass, their bikes strewn about at the top of the hill. They had just accomplished a ride up the fairly steep elevation. It obviously had taken a lot of energy for the crew, since they had decided to take some time out to catch their breath. From our vantage point, we couldn’t see anything but the 5 people and the top of the hill.

 

My husband yelled to me, “I wonder if there’s anyone else coming up the hill?” I didn’t say anything, and then I heard him yell to the group and ask if there were anymore still making their way up the hill. They replied with a no and began to get back on their bikes.

 

As we rode down the hill, I thought about what had just transpired. It would have never occurred to me to think about whether there was anyone else coming up the hill. It just wouldn’t have been of concern to me. Nor would I have even followed my thought up with a question directed at the crew. It just wasn’t important.

 

However, this was very important to him. I assume he was thinking about sharing the trail as he flies down the hill, going 30 miles an hour. I also assume that he was being cautious and safe.

 

The whole potential danger would have never crossed my mind. I just assumed that no matter what was coming at me as I flew down the hill, I could control my bike and maneuver around the obstacle safely.

 

If we’re riding and we get off course, I don’t think it’s a big deal. Eventually, we will figure out where we are and find our way back to our path. It always works out. In fact, sometimes the alternative journey that we end up taking when we’ve lost our way turns out far better than our original planned itinerary.

 

Our perspectives in life can be explained in the experience that I just shared with you. He is always looking ahead, gauging the dangers and obstacles in his way and looking for the best, safest path to get to his end goal. In contrast, I’m just riding toward my goals in life, assuming that when something happens, I will have confidence to deal with it in the best possible way. If I get off course and lose my way, I trust that eventually, I will figure it out. I’m always certain that it will work out just fine.

 

I’m not saying that one way of thinking in your personal and professional life is far better than another. What I am saying is that it’s good to think about WHERE you fall on this continuum. There are a lot of uncertainties and disappointments as you make your way down the mountain of life— eventually you will hit a huge pothole and it will get you off track.

 

 

This will occur no matter how diligent you are at assessing potential risks. Eventually, something will happen.

 

 

Having a combination of the two approaches to life is really your best bet. Be as proactive as you can, assess the possible dangers and risks, but beyond that, try to just live life and chase your goals.

 

And make sure you have the skills of RESILIENCE to weather the storm.

 

 

Quick Judgments

smiling pugLast week, Miles the Pug and I were on our usual walk in the neighborhood. As I turned the corner, I noticed that the neighbor’s two dogs were in the front of their house on their electric fence. They barked and snarled incessantly at the two of us as I opted to walk on the other side of the street.

 

I love dogs but those two have always put me on edge. They’re much larger than Miles and appear to be extremely territorial. To put it mildly, they always seem ready to attack.

 

Anyway, we walked to the front of the subdivision and were finally on our way back. As we got closer to the house with the snarling dogs, the barking became louder and louder. For months, I’ve walked on the sidewalk close to these dogs, trusting the electric fence. This time, I veered out into the street. Call it sixth sense, but those two were making me very nervous.

 

Suddenly, the bigger and angrier of the two ran full force toward us in the street. I had Miles on a retractable leash and in my panic, I didn’t lock it. There I was, screaming and frantically trying to pick Miles up before he became an appetizer for this dog. The dog targeted Miles by the neck while I chased the two in circles, trying to pick up my dog. Finally, I got ahold of him and began to run, with Miles trying desperately to wriggle out of my arms.

 

When I got home, I checked every inch of Miles to see if he had any bite marks. I couldn’t find any due to his agile circle moves. I was shocked that I couldn’t locate one bite. The next day, I informed the owners, who didn’t seem that surprised or concerned. The evil dog ran out and came to give me numerous kisses and love.

 

Two days later, I was walking Miles when we ran into the dog being walked by his young owner. The young man stopped to apologize profusely and as he talked, I noticed his dog was on a tight leash. As he explained himself, his dog obediently stood still. Out of nowhere, Miles the Pug lunged forward to attack the dog, barking and growling. I was shocked and embarrassed.

 

Now there’s a reason that I’m sharing this story. There’s a lot to learn by analyzing the way Miles and I reacted to this situation. This experience is not very different from how we often react to workplace conflict.

 

Sometimes we make assumptions about situations and relationships that just aren’t true.

 

From my vantage point, I saw Miles as the victim and the snarling dog as the bully. I assumed that Miles couldn’t defend himself in such a situation. However, Miles actually handled the dog’s aggression in the best way possible. He put the dog on warning that he was not going to go down easy. I was shocked by this reaction from him.

 

Conflict is a common occurrence during Change Initiatives in the workplace. There are times when we tend to label and categorize situations and relationships because it makes it easier for us to understand. One person is the bully and one person is the victim. If one person is guilty, than the other person is certainly innocent. However, it is rarely that simple. Often, situations and people can be very complicated.

 

Peering from the outside, it is often difficult to see the nuances that make up conflict within relationships. It never is as straightforward as it initially appears. Each individual in the relationship plays a part and needs to take responsibility for that piece.

 

So the next time you see conflict brewing between two individuals, try to refrain from making quick judgments.

 

Life is rarely explained in black and white terms.