Leaving the Puppy Out

image destroysMy son came to visit last weekend and brought his 6-month-old Golden Doodle puppy. We went shopping and spent way too much time picking out the perfect new toy and collar for the puppy. He had both of these items destroyed within minutes.

 

This puppy has a history of chewing objects that are not his toys. I’m talking about shoes, newspapers, magazines and pretty much anything that he can get his little paws on. You have to keep an eye on him at every moment because he gets into trouble pretty fast.

 

Anyway, my son and daughter-in-law have tried, with mixed results, to leave him out in the house when they are gone. They feel bad that this energetic puppy is being kept in his small crate all day. I can understand how they feel.

 

My daughter-in-law called me on her way home from work last week and told me that she was anxious to see if their puppy had been good all day. She informed me that she had left him out. I replied with an “uh-oh”. I envisioned the mess that was probably waiting for her. I didn’t doubt for a minute that there was going to be a cleanup in her future.

 

To make a long story short, the puppy didn’t let me down. The photo she sent me told the whole story. The couch was strewn with a variety of shoes that the puppy had methodically pulled out of the closet. I recognized my son’s dress shoes. I couldn’t see up close, but I’m pretty sure that some of those shoes were no longer wearable.

 

Right now, you’re probably thinking that this could have easily been avoided. You would have known better and it would have never happened to you. However, we’re all guilty of “leaving the puppy out” now and then.

 

You know that employee you continue to trust to manage the team even though they have let you down numerous times in the past? How about that friend that has been in your life forever and you continue to be shocked when they disappoint you? Or the co-worker that repeatedly frustrates you when you stick your neck out for him or her— yet you still go back for more? Sometime in your life, you have been guilty of this. You want to trust them, you want to believe that this time they mean it and they will change— but all too often, you are let down. You wash, rinse and repeat many times over.

 

You want it to work much more than they do.

 

It’s a wonderful human quality to believe in someone. However, sometimes we want others to change more than they want to or more than they’re ready for. We set them up for failure by continuing to give them rope to hang themselves with.

 

The only person that you have the right to be mad at is YOU. You need to take control of this situation. Stop expecting different outcomes with the same scenario over and over.

 

It’s time to take responsibility for what’s not working.

Accountability

image what's your excuse

 

I still remember going to my older son’s 3rd grade school conference. The teacher loved him and shared many wonderful stories. She relayed that he was smart, kind and had a great personality. Then she asked about a paper that he had recently brought home.

 

“I suppose you saw the math paper where he received a D. He was very upset about the grade and worried about what you would think of it.” I gave her a confused look and asked her when he brought it home. Apparently, it was supposed to come home in his backpack— it was 5 days later and I had never seen it. She chuckled and asked me not to come down too hard on him. Obviously, the paper had disappeared somewhere between school and home.

 

When I got home, I went upstairs to his room and sat down on his bed to have the talk. I told him how much his teacher raved about him and ended the story with the mystery of the missing “D” paper. I saw the look in his eyes and just waited for the explanation.

 

After much discussion, it was revealed that he had gotten off the bus and proceeded to take the paper and put it down the sewer drain. I’m imagining that the scenario was conjured up on the bus ride home. I suppose for a 3rd grader that was a logical way to solve the problem.

 

Now, I’m happy to report that my son, who’s now an adult, has learned to handle mistakes and missteps in a more responsible manner. However, in your travels through life, I’m pretty certain that you have come across a number of individuals that refuse to take accountability for their actions— they’re still throwing their “D” papers down the sewer drain. Their excuses and justifications for their actions can be downright exhausting.

 

Copping out on responsibility can become a habit and theme in every facet of your life. It inhibits your ability to move ahead in your career and find happiness and success in your personal life. Stop and think about someone that makes this behavior part of their daily routine. After awhile, the excuses just roll off their tongue and the more practice they get, the more proficient they become at this skill. In time, they truly believe their own explanations.

 

Right now, some of you are thinking that this does not describe you— but hold on a minute. Maybe you’re not a serial storyteller. However, there are times when each one of us is guilty of rationalizing our situation in order to feel better.

 

Take a step back and be honest. Maybe you didn’t get that sale today because the buyer was simply in a bad mood. You lost out on the promotion last week to the other employee because he always “sucks up” to the boss. You didn’t lose your goal of 5 lbs. this week because you just retain too much water. Never mind that you didn’t close the sale or you didn’t possess managerial skills or you ate more than you really should have on your diet.

 

We are ALL guilty of not taking accountability at some point.

 

The thing to remember is that your outcomes directly reflect your actions. Your success in life is in direct relation to your ability to be painfully honest with YOU. Do you make things happen or do things happen to you? A big part of your resilience in life is tied up in your skill of taking accountability for your actions. It’s realizing that you control your own destiny: your happiness and success is dependent upon you.

 

The next time you struggle with reaching a goal daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly, step back and give this some thought: take responsibility for your place in life.

Accountability

image what's your excuse

 

I still remember going to my older son’s 3rd grade school conference. The teacher loved him and shared many wonderful stories. She relayed that he was smart, kind and had a great personality. Then she asked about a paper that he had recently brought home.

 

“I suppose you saw the math paper where he received a D. He was very upset about the grade and worried about what you would think of it.” I gave her a confused look and asked her when he brought it home. Apparently, it was supposed to come home in his backpack— it was 5 days later and I had never seen it. She chuckled and asked me not to come down too hard on him. Obviously, the paper had disappeared somewhere between school and home.

 

When I got home, I went upstairs to his room and sat down on his bed to have the talk. I told him how much his teacher raved about him and ended the story with the mystery of the missing “D” paper. I saw the look in his eyes and just waited for the explanation.

 

After much discussion, it was revealed that he had gotten off the bus and proceeded to take the paper and put it down the sewer drain. I’m imagining that the scenario was conjured up on the bus ride home. I suppose for a 3rd grader that was a logical way to solve the problem.

 

Now, I’m happy to report that my son, who’s now an adult, has learned to handle mistakes and missteps in a more responsible manner. However, in your travels through life, I’m pretty certain that you have come across a number of individuals that refuse to take accountability for their actions— they’re still throwing their “D” papers down the sewer drain. Their excuses and justifications for their actions can be downright exhausting.

 

Copping out on responsibility can become a habit and theme in every facet of your life. It inhibits your ability to move ahead in your career and find happiness and success in your personal life. Stop and think about someone that makes this behavior part of their daily routine. After awhile, the excuses just roll off their tongue and the more practice they get, the more proficient they become at this skill. In time, they truly believe their own explanations.

 

Right now, some of you are thinking that this does not describe you— but hold on a minute. Maybe you’re not a serial storyteller. However, there are times when each one of us is guilty of rationalizing our situation in order to feel better.

 

Take a step back and be honest. Maybe you didn’t get that sale today because the buyer was simply in a bad mood. You lost out on the promotion last week to the other employee because he always “sucks up” to the boss. You didn’t lose your goal of 5 lbs. this week because you just retain too much water. Never mind that you didn’t close the sale or you didn’t possess managerial skills or you ate more than you really should have on your diet.

 

We are ALL guilty of not taking accountability at some point.

 

The thing to remember is that your outcomes directly reflect your actions. Your success in life is in direct relation to your ability to be painfully honest with YOU. Do you make things happen or do things happen to you? A big part of your resilience in life is tied up in your skill of taking accountability for your actions. It’s realizing that you control your own destiny: your happiness and success is dependent upon you.

 

The next time you struggle with reaching a goal daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly, step back and give this some thought: take responsibility for your place in life.

Taking Responsibility

images world responsibility

 

I was driving to meet a client the other day when a memory popped in my head.  It’s funny how that works— I had forgotten all about the experience and then out of the blue, it was there again.  So much had transpired on my family’s ski trip in British Columbia that I guess it had slipped my mind.

 

It happened on our third day of skiing.  The three of us were getting ready to take the ski lift up for another run.  A woman a few chairs ahead had difficulty getting on the ski lift and dropped one of her poles in the process.  As we got onto the ski lift, the operator asked us if we would take her pole up and give it to her.  Of course we said yes, and I grabbed it to take it up.

 

The first thing that my husband said to me was, “Be careful and don’t drop the pole.” As you can imagine, that comment didn’t sit well with me. Of course I was going to be careful— I wasn’t a child.  He offered to hold it but I refused to give it to him.

 

About ¾ way to our destination, I moved around on my seat and got my legs in another position.  They were cramping from the non-stop exercise.  As I found a more comfortable position, I watched the extra pole fall many feet down and into the deep snow.  I had forgotten in that second that I was holding a third pole.

 

The three of us stared at the pole as it dove into the snow and then both my husband and son looked directly at me.  I felt pretty stupid. I quickly reviewed my options to remedy this situation but I came up empty.  I messed up and I felt terrible. Moaning about it for the rest of the ride, I was taking full responsibility for the situation.

 

Yes, my family understood why I felt bad, but they questioned whether I was taking the responsibility thing a bit too far.  They reminded me that it was the woman who had initially messed up and that I was being a Good Samaritan by trying to help.  When we got off, we told the worker what had happened and he said not to worry about it.

 

As we skied down the mountain, we decided to take the exact same run and ski lift back up.  On my way down, I still couldn’t shake this feeling of responsibility. I felt really, really bad.  When we got on the ski lift, my worst nightmare happened. The woman with one ski pole was in the chair in front of us.  She proceeded to complain loudly about the idiot that had dropped her pole.  She was angry and upset and went on and on about the situation.  I slouched down in my chair, praying that she didn’t know the idiot was sitting right behind her.

 

Often, the message in my writing is one of taking responsibility for your own actions and decisions in your life.  However, it’s very possible that you can take this responsibility thing way to far.  In fact, you can take it to the point where the other individual no longer has to take responsibility at all. I find myself guilty of this on occasion and this situation is a very good example.  When you don’t let others take their fair share of responsibility, it thwarts their ability to grow and learn in their own life.

 

Take your fair share and leave the rest where it belongs.