Steps to Success

I’m a Women’s Success Coach because it is my mission. I feel strongly that this is what I’m meant to do in life. Frankly, I enjoy it so much that I would do it for free but I recognize that it would be a poor business decision. I believe that I have all the skills, knowledge and experience needed to help each woman succeed in both their personal and professional life.


That said, I recognize that this is not always enough. Sometimes, despite how hard I work, I fail at helping someone move forward and achieve her goals. As you can imagine, it bugs me to no end. However, I do realize that it takes two to make the process work. If you’ve been wondering if you’re ready to take the next step to work with a coach, here’s a list to help you decide.


You’ve made a decision that you no longer want to live your present life. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s a personal trainer or a financial expert, unless you are frustrated with your present life, you’re not going to move forward with a Coach. Frankly, you need to feel the pain in order to commit to the hard work.  Changing your life isn’t easy.  It’s so much easier to continue down your current path.  It’s just that the path has to be so uncomfortable for you that you refuse to live it one more day. If that’s how you feel, then you’re ready to commit.


You are open to learning new ways of doing things

Ask yourself this question— am I open to someone telling me that my thinking might be incorrect?  Am I willing to allow myself to be vulnerable? The Coaching process is about being honest and admitting that you might have made some mistakes in the past.  It’s about seeing yourself clearly, maybe for the first time in your life. In order for the relationship to work, you need to be thirsty for new ways to approach life. If you can’t meet these requirements, then you’re not going to have a successful relationship with your Coach.


You’re willing to work really hard and follow through.

Working with a Coach means you have to do your homework.  When your health coach says you have to record everything you eat, there’s a reason.  If you don’t complete this part of the homework, you won’t be able to succeed.  Yes, it takes hard work to change patterns that you’ve had for years.  Unless you stop and recognize them, you will continue to do things the exact same way. However, like anything else in life, nothing worth having comes easy. If you come to an appointment without completing your homework, you’re sending a very clear message.


It’s your decision to work with a Coach.

Did your husband suggest that a Business Coach would help you increase your profitability at work so you thought that you’d give it a try? I’m already skeptical of your commitment.  This needs to be your decision or you’re not going to see the same degree of success.  You need to seize total ownership of this commitment and the process.  The most successful clients are those that had been mulling it over for a while and decided the time was right.


Working with a Coach can be a life-changing experience.  It’s your decision whether you view it as an opportunity to accomplish your dreams or a waste of time and money.  I certainly hope you choose the former.


Relationship Advice

Miles and I are pretty firm in our routine.  He knows that I always feed him dinner and take him for a walk around 4 or 5 o’clock. If I’m in the house starting around 2 o’clock, I can count on him to be glued to my side.  Every time I make a move, he’s right there.  If I’m working at my desk, he will sit beside me and stare. He’ll be watching for any sign of movement, signaling my possible descent downstairs to his food bowl.  Watching his behavior, you would think that I never feed him.


By about 4 o ‘clock, I can no longer stand the feeling of someone staring at me and I make my way to the kitchen.  I feed him and get his leash ready for the walk.  He scarfs down the food morsels within a 20 second span and then turns to me for the next act.


Today, I felt pretty lucky that I was able to walk him before the big downpour of rain.  The weather was just perfect— sunshine with a nice breeze to cool things down.  As usual, Miles walked fast and insisted on leaving his calling card on every single bush and tree within a 2-block radius.  When we turned around and began our walk back to the house, Miles sat down.  He sprawled out under a tree and decided he was done.  I didn’t notice this detail, so I continued to walk until the long, taut leash pulled me back.


I told Miles that he could take a little break but then we were going to go back home.  When I got close to him, he quickly turned over on his back to show me he was ready to get picked up.  I tried to “marionette” him to walk but that didn’t work.  Frustrated and angry, I finally gave up and picked him up.  Miles seemed quite content with my decision.


I listen daily to successful women that are unhappy with the relationships in their lives.  They want the people in their professional or personal lives to change and they ask my advice as how to make this happen. They have a proactive approach to life and are very problem/solution oriented. All of this is wonderful but they’re leaving out one very important detail.  You can’t make people change and you can’t convince people that they need to change.  In fact, the harder you try, the less effective you will be.


You can, however, change your own part in the scenario.  A relationship is dynamic and if you change your own behavior, then the other individual’s behavior will also have to adapt.  It might take time before you see the desired changes in the other individual, but it’s definitely an empowering and healthy way to handle the situation.


Now, back to Miles.  I was livid with Miles when he was lying under the tree and expected me to pick him up. I could swear he had a smile on his face. But who was really responsible for this travesty? What had I taught him to expect from me?  He had the routine down from the signs that I was getting ready to feed him until the moment that I gave in and picked him up.   I had trained him on this whole experience.


However, if I changed my behavior, he would also have to make some changes.  Maybe the first time, things wouldn’t go so smooth, but if I stayed the course on this new change, the Pug would eventually have no choice but to adapt.

It’s really not that different with humans.


Finding Inner Sass in Your Career

Recently, I was having a conversation with a woman at a lunch event.  I introduced myself by saying my usual, “I help women find their inner sass”.  This woman responded like so many women do, by informing me that she already had her inner sass.  The thing is that I’m not so sure.  Having your inner sass in your career doesn’t mean you have an attitude or you let people have a piece of your mind.  It means that you have the courage and strength to make good decisions.  Often, I believe that many women misinterpret this very important distinction.


It means that you have a sense of when to talk and when to not.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t have your voice. A woman that truly has her inner sass has the ability to be patient and hold back her opinion when it’s appropriate. It’s an important skill to be able to discern when to speak up and when to keep quiet. Also, mastering this skill can make a world of difference in your future success. Women with their inner sass have the strength to stay quiet, assess the situation and think things through before taking any action. They don’t make impulsive decisions that come back to haunt them later in their career.


It means that you don’t stay in your job when it’s time to move on.

I’m sure there’s been a time in your life when you stayed past your job’s expiration date.  I’ve certainly done this. Frankly, I did it because it was easier than venturing outside and braving the elements. Why do we do this? It’s because in your present situation, at least you know what to expect.  Humans like routine and you’re no exception to the rule.  Considering leaving a job or career can encourage you to play the “what if” game.  What if the new workplace is worse, what if I hate my job, etc.  It requires sass to ignore the “what ifs”, take the chance and make that leap to find your happiness.


It means that you know how to take responsibility when you’ve been wrong.

It happens eventually to everyone. You make a mistake at work that will affect others. Having your sass doesn’t mean you can’t make colossal mistakes now and then. However, your sass is contingent on how you HANDLE the mistake. It takes courage and strength to take responsibility for your mess-up.  It’s easier to try to slide it under the radar or blame it on someone else.  However, taking full responsibility and being proactive in the way you handle the mistake shows integrity and character. It shows others that you are a true leader.


It means that you have the courage to say, “I don’t know”.

Your brain is telling you “I should know this and not knowing makes me look incompetent”. However, that can’t be further from the truth.  I’m sure you’ve witnessed a situation where someone tried to make others believe they had the answer when they really didn’t.  I bet you didn’t respect them too much after this charade.  Being honest and saying, “I don’t know but I’ll find out” shows integrity, confidence, and sass.


So how did you stack up? Do you have some areas that could use some improvement? Be honest with yourself and make the changes to own your sass!