Treading Water

Do you know someone that is going through a bad time or has ever experienced a rough patch in their life?


Let’s be honest-no one is immune to heartache. At some point in your life, you will go through a difficult time. You will be disappointed, disheartened, and feel like you can’t go on. You will think that this new CHANGE that has occurred is just way too much to handle.


How do I know this? Because there isn’t a person alive that gets through life without some bad scrapes and bruises. It’s part of the whole journey that is referred to as “life”. And at some point, it will be your turn to endure some difficult experience.


I have heard countless stories of getting fired from a job, grieving a loved one, not achieving your dream, having a loved one disappoint you and the list goes on.


So, here’s a couple things to remember so that you’re a bit more prepared and resilient for the next low point that you encounter:


This is only a moment in time.

When you’re going through this bad time, you don’t have perspective. You become so immersed in your pain and sadness that you neglect to understand that this is a temporary condition. This horrible pain is not going to last for eternity. This feeling is just for now and will eventually subside. The fact that the sadness is for now and will pass is always a tough concept for people to accept when they are in the midst of a disappointment. They feel trapped and can’t see outside the walls of their agony. But trust me, it will pass, and things will lighten up. Just keep repeating this to yourself.


You are not unique-we all have some burden to carry.

When you are going through a challenging time, it’s easy to look around and think that you are unique. It feels like everyone else is living a fairytale life while you are struggling to get through another day. Remind yourself of the truth-no one’s life is perfect and you are presently seeing the world through a distorted lens. Wallowing in this is not going to help you move forward.


You need to allow yourself to let go of the loss

People don’t like to feel pain. They will go to great lengths to avoid any hurtful feelings. However, there is a certain amount of pain you must walk through in order to get to the other side. Numbing the pain won’t work and neither will distractions and positive talk. Yes, they might give you some temporary relief, but the only way to truly move forward is to be honest and vulnerable with your feelings and be willing to trudge through it until you reach acceptance. Maybe then, you can get some understanding and put the pain and the experience in the right place.


You can’t rush the experience of finding meaning in your heartache. That comes only with time and the willingness to truly dig through your feelings. So have the strength and courage to face the situation and know that better times are ahead

Walk a Mile

image-footstepsEmpathy– the ability to emotionally understand what another person is feeling.


The last week has been tough. Wherever you look, people’s emotions are on edge due to the recent election. People have taken sides and each group is having difficulty understanding the motives and reactions of the other group. Some people are elated, while others are feeling a multitude of things: disappointment, fear, anger and grief.


Being trained in Mental Health, I spend every waking hour observing others. It’s just something that I do instinctively. I don’t necessarily engage in feelings— I just observe from afar and try to understand why and how people are responding.


Friday, I met with a connection that told me she had spent time guiding a company on how to handle a physical fight between two workers on opposite sides of the political argument. Yes, people are on edge everywhere you look and that emotion inevitably seeps into our workplace.


There is a lack of empathy in much of our communication. I observe individuals demonstrating their own personal values, beliefs and attitudes about life. The problem is that they also expect others to adhere to those same values, beliefs and worldviews. Following last week, there appears to be a lack of understanding—

We have trouble making room for human differences and the inability to see that individuals don’t necessarily fit into neatly defined categories.


What I do see is a strong compelling need to demonstrate WHY I am right and I have the right way of thinking.


Nowhere is this more evident than on Social Media. Here, you see a total lack of empathy and a complete lack of the ability to imagine how others feel. You see individuals pushing their belief system on others while refusing to listen. You witness people expecting others to see things their way, and if they don’t, they are attacked. You observe people feeling the need to rationalize their beliefs and expecting others to support them— or else. Polarized thinking is rampant and stirs up anger, hate and decisiveness.


You see a whole lot of JUDGEMENT but very little empathy.


As humans, we are a complicated species. Each one of us has a worldview made up of values, attitudes and beliefs based on our many life experiences. You won’t understand me unless you actively listen, without judgment, to where I am coming from and what I feel. I won’t understand you unless I actively listen, without judgment, to where you are coming from and what you feel.


Until this happens, we won’t have successful communication and understanding propecia dosage.


So how do you ensure that EMPATHY is part of your Leadership toolkit?

You become more Empathetic by practicing these skills daily.


  1. Use your energy to actively listen to others and understand how they are feeling.
  2. Refrain from minimizing others’ feelings and rationalizing about your own feelings.
  3. Hold yourself back from making judgments about others that think differently than you. Just meet them where they are.


Remember during this time that empathy is the ability to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Truly live up to this standard.