In my work as a women’s life coach, I often discover that it’s a value or principle incorporated into a woman’s life that’s holding her back from greatness. It’s possible that they’ve held on to it from very early in their life. It doesn’t matter when it was internalized or when it became a compass for decision-making— it’s the fact that this principle or value they hold onto so tightly is impeding their progress to move forward that should be alarming.
In lieu of this, I would like to spend some time busting a few popular myths believed by women that get in the way of their happiness and success.
You need to achieve work/life balance. What the heck is work/life balance? The truth is that there are going to be times in your life that are way off balance and there’s very little you can do about it. There may be big chunks of time that you spend in one specific area of your life, and the other pieces are put on hold. With the many roles that women hold, it’s often a juggling act to keep all the plates spinning. Here’s what you can do: try a routine assessment to see if you’re spending time in the RIGHT places for YOU and expending energy as efficiently as possible. Maybe your floors will have to go two weeks without being cleaned properly. I guarantee you it will not be the end of the world.
All stress is bad and should be avoided at all costs. The Internet is crawling with articles that speak to women’s stress levels. Your daily life is filled with too much stimulation and activity, with everything moving at an extremely fast pace. The constant use of technology only adds to the situation. However, if you didn’t have a certain amount of stress in your life, you wouldn’t be able to accomplish your goals. For example, knowing that your mother-in-law is coming to the house the next day encourages you to clean up the kitchen. Having that project deadline looming over your head encourages you to complete it. A little bit of stress can be positive, but constant stress is not. Be able to differentiate between the two.
You should be happy 100% of the time. To be honest, this myth really aggravates me. It seems that everything in our culture tells us that this is our goal— to be happy all the time. However, that just isn’t realistic. Good things happen and bad things happen in your lifetime. The most change and growth happens not when you’re happy, but when you’re Unhappy! What you should expect is for you to positively cope with your situation, find meaning in the bad times and then find a place where you can begin to feel contentment. Maybe, just maybe, happy is the wrong word to shoot for. The real goal should be contentment, peace and understanding.
You should love every part of your job. I’m passionate about my job. I get excited when I think about the change that my clients are making in their lives. However, the daily grind of paperwork is way down on my list of things I enjoy about my job. I love creating new programs and coming up with new ideas, but working on the details is definitely not my strong suit. I get it done but it certainly doesn’t “feed me”. There isn’t a job that exists that you will absolutely adore every single minute. There will be great days and days that you wish would just end so you can start fresh in the morning. Yet the job can still be perfect for YOU.
Give some thought to these mythbusters, and make some changes to your thinking.