Your Personal Mission

 

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Much earlier in my career, I was hired into a position as a Clinical Committee Coordinator in the County Social Service System. I quickly identified the gaps in services for emotionally ill children with severe issues and then collaborated with a team to develop a plan to launch a variety of programs for this underserved population.

These newly developed programs would put expectations on the existing programs in the community.  To put it bluntly, the employees in the existing agencies would have to CHANGE the way they operated.  As you can imagine, this change was not welcomed with open arms.  Any changes made in any workplace are rarely welcomed with open arms.  I definitely felt the pressure since all responsibility on these changes was placed directly on me.

This was a very stressful time for me.  The employees’ unhappiness in the workplace was extremely palpable. Although I knew this was a positive change for the organization and the absolute right thing to do, there were times during my workdays where it began to wear on me.

There was one thing that helped me get through this stressful period in my career—

my personal mission. During the rough times, I would repeat to myself that I was making this change for the children. I was willing to put up with the difficult employees and keep pushing forward because it was the right thing to do for the kids.  I was capable of handling these impossible situations if it meant that those children would receive the care that they needed.

Believing in my personal mission guided me through this experience. It enabled me to handle the long days of work and deal with the stress in a positive manner. I believed in my heart that this was what I was meant to do and that it was my responsibility to make it happen. I knew that I could handle just about anything if it meant that these changes in the services would be implemented in the county.

Everyone, at some point in their life, hits a snag in their career. Over the long haul, every career has its ups and downs.  There are days, weeks and sometimes months that can feel like an uphill battle. However, one of the ways you can combat this stress and become resilient in your work life is to have a work personal mission.

So my question to you is, what’s YOUR personal mission?  What is it that encourages you to come to work focused and energized everyday? What belief do you have down deep that keeps you centered in your life?  If you manage a team or an organization, not only is your own personal mission important, but also each employees.  Do you know what they are?

Your personal mission is an essential piece of the puzzle when it comes to work resilience.  It drives you in the good times and keeps you afloat in the bad.  Don’t waste another day without getting clear on your personal mission.

A Fresh Perspective

 

The day it happened was one of the coldest days of the year.  I believe we broke numerous records for wind chill and temperature.  As you can imagine, I dreaded going out in the bitter cold, but I had an appointment waiting for me.

 

Anyway, in all my excitement, my ski coat hit the car console and changed the radio station to AM radio.  All of the sudden, I was hit with the sound of loud static and talk radio.  Where was my top 40 station?  While I continued to drive, I tried to figure out what exactly I had done to my radio and how I could remedy the situation.

 

I fiddled with the knobs and my technologically advanced screen, searching for the FM button, to no avail.  At every red light, I studied the console, pushed at the buttons and searched for the answer. I even tried to recreate how I had originally hit the radio, but even that didn’t help me.

 

I’m embarrassed to say that this went on for four days.  Like clockwork, I went through the same process, prodding at buttons, searching on the screen and scanning the console for the FM button that would solve all my problems. When I arrived at my destination on the fourth day, I decided on another tactic to solve this problem.

 

I pulled up to the gym and put my car in park.  I reached over to the glove compartment and pulled out my car manual.  I might add at this point that I did feel a little foolish, but I was frustrated and tired of the whole process.  The manual showed illustrations of the different buttons on the console, including the radio.  There, in the picture, was the large button for FM, located beneath the radio.  I pulled my focus away from the book and looked at my car’s console.  I’m sure you won’t be surprised to know that the large button for FM was exactly where the manual said it would be.  Frankly, it was in plain sight and easy to see.  If I felt foolish before, I truly felt like an idiot now.

 

I was at Panera the other day and I was making myself a cup of tea.  I overheard the women at the counter asking why they didn’t have herbal tea anymore.  She insisted that it wasn’t there. I spoke up and told her to come over so I could help her find it.  She was shocked to see it when I pointed it out to her and she shared that she felt foolish.  She couldn’t believe that she had stared at it forever and didn’t see it. It was so easy to see now.

 

I chuckled and told her I knew exactly how she felt.  I shared with her that sometimes we don’t see things that are right in front of our eyes. She agreed and walked away.

 

We’ve all had those experiences. Our perceptions are so often colored by our expectations, our past experiences, and our preconceived ideas. My friend at Panera EXPECTED the tea to be in different packaging— therefore, every time she scanned the tea, she didn’t see what she needed.  My experience with my FM radio was affected by my preconceived idea that the answer was either on my screen or on either side of the radio.  I never looked BENEATH the radio.

 

Sometimes, we miss the most obvious things, and afterwards we wonder how we could have failed so miserably. In life, the answers are often right in front of our eyes, but we’re working so hard to find the answer that we make it a much more complicated process than it needs to be. Maybe we need to just open our minds and see it from a different perspective.

Decluttering

 

There I was, sitting at my desk trying to get some paperwork done.  My husband had a few days off over the holidays and he was on a mission.  His project for the day was to clean out all the closets upstairs.  I ignored him as long as possible as he went about this huge task. As the day went on, I saw him carry down massive amounts of suits, shirts and pants to be taken to Goodwill.

 

And then I was called on to get involved.  He stated that he really couldn’t complete his project without my input— he needed to know what in the linen closets could be pitched.  I was not pleased with my needed involvement in this project.  You see, I didn’t feel the same need or motivation to organize and purge.  I was happy keeping everything status quo.  He convinced me that my involvement was needed since it was December 31, and he only had a few hours to finish this task for 2013 tax purposes.  Aggravated, I left my desk to clean out the two linen closets.

 

Let me paint a clear picture of what kind of project I had before me.  I don’t believe that anything had been purged from these closets for the last 20 years. They were stuffed with comforters, sheets, and blankets from many years ago.  Actually, being able to close the closet door had become an accomplishment in itself. I believe that my closets were only truly appreciated by my cat Biscuit.  I wish that I had a dollar for every time I opened the closets to find him enveloped in a mass of blankets.

 

So let me go back to my forced-upon project.  Slowly, I pulled everything out of the closet, shocked by the sheer mass of stuff.  It was like a stroll down memory lane—

the boy’s old bunk-bed comforters, my towels that we received as wedding presents over 30 years ago, sheets that I couldn’t even remember owning.  My husband was right; these things were never going to get used again. I was shocked that I had ignored this stuff for so many years.  There, at the bottom of the pile, were two baby blankets.  That put a smile on my face and made me think about how things had changed.

 

I put 90% of the linens in a huge pile to be donated.  I didn’t use most of the things I found and they had cluttered up the house.  When I put everything back in the closet, it was clean, organized and quite empty.

 

And guess what else I discovered?  The process of cleaning out my closet was a good experience.  The feeling I had when I looked at the end result of my work was pretty wonderful.  Somehow, I felt uplifted.  It felt as if I was letting go of the things in my life that were causing distractions.  As I looked at my new closet, I felt renewed, positive and clear on my intentions going forward.  How strange that something like cleaning out my closet could change the way I felt about life!

 

The other realization I had was how I needed to do this with other parts of my life.  The next day, I organized some paperwork that had been on my to-do list way too long.  I sat on the floor of my office, set up a notebook and ended up throwing away the many papers cluttering my work and life.  After the work was completed, I spent time admiring my new organized book; I was feeling clear and at peace.

 

We can get so used to our dysfunction and the clutter in our lives that we don’t even notice it anymore.  It becomes familiar and part of who we are.  Make a point to address the “closets” in your life that might need some attention.

What Really Matters

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The pressure is on.  Everyday, I hear moms and dads talking about their kids and the stressors that they’re continuously facing in today’s competitive world. They need to excel in school, on the athletic field, and in every arena possible to be able to someday compete in the workplace. There’s no room for B’s on a report card—there’s no room for 2nd place. There’s no room for anything but spectacular, or else they won’t get into the college that they want.

 

While parents are focused on supporting their kids to accomplish these goals, it’s very possible that they’re missing the point.  There are some pretty important skills that young men and women need to be happy, healthy and successful in life that don’t get much attention.  But let’s be realistic for a moment— eventually you will graduate from college and need to live a life.  You need the skills that will help you navigate the world effectively.  This is where I feel a lot of today’s parents could use a refresher course.

 

So, whether you want to hear it or not, here are a few skills that I find valuable beyond a college degree from the right school.

 

Knowing how to write a good thank-you card.

My son relayed to me that he had received a Starbucks gift card from his aunt while at school.  He told his roommates how he needed to write a thank-you note for his gift and they were confused.  Not one of the five had ever written a thank-you for receiving a gift from someone. He found this shocking. I found it shocking that all my yelling over the years had really sunk in.  Knowing how to be gracious, considerate and have a grasp on proper etiquette in your professional and personal life is a skill that makes you stand out.

 

Being able to say you’re sorry when you’re not really responsible.

I still remember when my son came home, upset from his summer job. His boss had yelled at him, right in front of customers. He tried to calmly explain to him the real situation and how he wasn’t responsible, but the boss wouldn’t listen.  It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t his fault. I agreed with him it wasn’t fair, but this was real life.  Sometimes, in a job and in life, you’re not responsible but you have to take responsibility anyway. You have to say you’re sorry, when in fact, you don’t feel that you’ve done anything wrong.  It’s called “doing what you have to do to keep a job”.  Frankly, it’s also an important skill for your personal relationships.

 

Being willing to make mistakes and survive the experience.

It’s not easy to watch someone you love make mistakes. However, think back to your own life. When did you learn the most? It’s probably when you messed up in some way.  It’s when you got into trouble, made a poor decision and disappointed your parents and self.  Your life was severely impacted.  You felt pain for the mistake yet you experienced how you could rise above it and life could still be OK. Young men and women need this experience to learn, to become better people and to know how to survive bad experiences. Don’t take this away from them by trying to make it all “right”.

 

Being able to advocate for “you” in an appropriate manner

I’m referring to the ability to defend, advocate and speak up for yourself in your personal and professional life.  This skill is imperative to your future success and happiness. There will be numerous times in your career where you need to be able to sell and market your abilities. There will be numerous times in your career where you’ll need to defend your actions and speak your mind.  Your ability to handle these situations diplomatically, yet firmly, will impact your future positively.

 

These foundational skills just might make the difference in a highly competitive marketplace.