I learned many lessons when I went away to college- ones that went beyond textbooks and classes. I learned about life, relationships and accepting myself with love. Until an experience with a new friend, I hadn’t completely understood how a girlfriend’s self-love played into every relationship she encountered in life. This one girlfriend that I am referring to had me stymied- I could not figure her out. L was of average height and definitely not what we would call thin by today’s gauge of what is an attractive woman. L was flat chested, and a bit hippy with heavier, shorter legs. To be honest, she was not pretty by conventional standards and had a very average looking face with average features. Her hair was a little kinky and unkempt. The thing that totally confused me was that all the guys were so crazy about her.

Every guy I encountered sang the praises of L. Each guy wanted a chance to date her and would bend over backward to do this. This was a mystery to me, so I decided that I needed to understand this better. I asked a close guy friend what it was that made her so desirable. His reply was that, “she just exudes sexiness”. I was blown away and so were my girlfriends. We saw only her physical attributes and they certainly didn’t add up to “sexiness” or beauty by OUR standards.

And then it occurred to me. It wasn’t about how she looked; it was about what she thought of herself. When L walked in a room, she owned it. This was a young woman with attitude and sass that truly believed it! She really didn’t care what other people thought of her- she knew who she was and what she wanted in life. It was apparent she thought the world of herself. She exuded confidence and didn’t back down to anyone. She knew she deserved the best. The energy she gave off was so electric and attractive that the guys couldn’t see straight. L didn’t waste time thinking about how her life would be better if her breasts were just bigger, her legs longer and thinner and her face prettier- she just rocked what she owned and lived life to the fullest.

So girlfriend, I beg of you, try to be more like L. Stop fretting over the imperfections and flaws you have on your body. Stop focusing on the things you can’t change and start focusing on being a better person. Beauty and attractiveness is not about what you see on the outside, but how you feel and see yourself on the inside. Realize that you deserve the best, and start believing it. Walk in that room like you own it and shake what you got!

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