Accountability

image what's your excuse

 

I still remember going to my older son’s 3rd grade school conference. The teacher loved him and shared many wonderful stories. She relayed that he was smart, kind and had a great personality. Then she asked about a paper that he had recently brought home.

 

“I suppose you saw the math paper where he received a D. He was very upset about the grade and worried about what you would think of it.” I gave her a confused look and asked her when he brought it home. Apparently, it was supposed to come home in his backpack— it was 5 days later and I had never seen it. She chuckled and asked me not to come down too hard on him. Obviously, the paper had disappeared somewhere between school and home.

 

When I got home, I went upstairs to his room and sat down on his bed to have the talk. I told him how much his teacher raved about him and ended the story with the mystery of the missing “D” paper. I saw the look in his eyes and just waited for the explanation.

 

After much discussion, it was revealed that he had gotten off the bus and proceeded to take the paper and put it down the sewer drain. I’m imagining that the scenario was conjured up on the bus ride home. I suppose for a 3rd grader that was a logical way to solve the problem.

 

Now, I’m happy to report that my son, who’s now an adult, has learned to handle mistakes and missteps in a more responsible manner. However, in your travels through life, I’m pretty certain that you have come across a number of individuals that refuse to take accountability for their actions— they’re still throwing their “D” papers down the sewer drain. Their excuses and justifications for their actions can be downright exhausting.

 

Copping out on responsibility can become a habit and theme in every facet of your life. It inhibits your ability to move ahead in your career and find happiness and success in your personal life. Stop and think about someone that makes this behavior part of their daily routine. After awhile, the excuses just roll off their tongue and the more practice they get, the more proficient they become at this skill. In time, they truly believe their own explanations.

 

Right now, some of you are thinking that this does not describe you— but hold on a minute. Maybe you’re not a serial storyteller. However, there are times when each one of us is guilty of rationalizing our situation in order to feel better.

 

Take a step back and be honest. Maybe you didn’t get that sale today because the buyer was simply in a bad mood. You lost out on the promotion last week to the other employee because he always “sucks up” to the boss. You didn’t lose your goal of 5 lbs. this week because you just retain too much water. Never mind that you didn’t close the sale or you didn’t possess managerial skills or you ate more than you really should have on your diet.

 

We are ALL guilty of not taking accountability at some point.

 

The thing to remember is that your outcomes directly reflect your actions. Your success in life is in direct relation to your ability to be painfully honest with YOU. Do you make things happen or do things happen to you? A big part of your resilience in life is tied up in your skill of taking accountability for your actions. It’s realizing that you control your own destiny: your happiness and success is dependent upon you.

 

The next time you struggle with reaching a goal daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly, step back and give this some thought: take responsibility for your place in life.

Accountability

image what's your excuse

 

I still remember going to my older son’s 3rd grade school conference. The teacher loved him and shared many wonderful stories. She relayed that he was smart, kind and had a great personality. Then she asked about a paper that he had recently brought home.

 

“I suppose you saw the math paper where he received a D. He was very upset about the grade and worried about what you would think of it.” I gave her a confused look and asked her when he brought it home. Apparently, it was supposed to come home in his backpack— it was 5 days later and I had never seen it. She chuckled and asked me not to come down too hard on him. Obviously, the paper had disappeared somewhere between school and home.

 

When I got home, I went upstairs to his room and sat down on his bed to have the talk. I told him how much his teacher raved about him and ended the story with the mystery of the missing “D” paper. I saw the look in his eyes and just waited for the explanation.

 

After much discussion, it was revealed that he had gotten off the bus and proceeded to take the paper and put it down the sewer drain. I’m imagining that the scenario was conjured up on the bus ride home. I suppose for a 3rd grader that was a logical way to solve the problem.

 

Now, I’m happy to report that my son, who’s now an adult, has learned to handle mistakes and missteps in a more responsible manner. However, in your travels through life, I’m pretty certain that you have come across a number of individuals that refuse to take accountability for their actions— they’re still throwing their “D” papers down the sewer drain. Their excuses and justifications for their actions can be downright exhausting.

 

Copping out on responsibility can become a habit and theme in every facet of your life. It inhibits your ability to move ahead in your career and find happiness and success in your personal life. Stop and think about someone that makes this behavior part of their daily routine. After awhile, the excuses just roll off their tongue and the more practice they get, the more proficient they become at this skill. In time, they truly believe their own explanations.

 

Right now, some of you are thinking that this does not describe you— but hold on a minute. Maybe you’re not a serial storyteller. However, there are times when each one of us is guilty of rationalizing our situation in order to feel better.

 

Take a step back and be honest. Maybe you didn’t get that sale today because the buyer was simply in a bad mood. You lost out on the promotion last week to the other employee because he always “sucks up” to the boss. You didn’t lose your goal of 5 lbs. this week because you just retain too much water. Never mind that you didn’t close the sale or you didn’t possess managerial skills or you ate more than you really should have on your diet.

 

We are ALL guilty of not taking accountability at some point.

 

The thing to remember is that your outcomes directly reflect your actions. Your success in life is in direct relation to your ability to be painfully honest with YOU. Do you make things happen or do things happen to you? A big part of your resilience in life is tied up in your skill of taking accountability for your actions. It’s realizing that you control your own destiny: your happiness and success is dependent upon you.

 

The next time you struggle with reaching a goal daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly, step back and give this some thought: take responsibility for your place in life.

Knowing When to Fold

I was listening to a friend talk about her career the other day.  She told me that she was content in her first job right out of college when she decided to make the leap to a new position.  Within the first two weeks, she knew that she had made a huge mistake in this move.  Despite this realization, she stayed for another 4 years at this company. Why did she stay? She told herself that she needed to persevere and keep trying harder.

 

If you want to be a success in life, you need to try harder. You need to be inspired to push more.  You need to hold on tighter and never let go.  Just keep pushing yourself and keep trudging forward in your goal. I’ve read countless books, articles, and motivational sites that push this concept.

 

Is this truly the answer to finding success?

 

Not always.  Sometimes the right thing to do is to fold your cards and reassess your place in life. Take a step back and get in touch with your honest self.  As for my friend, she realizes now that she was trying to make something work that was never going to work.  She felt that quitting after one workweek showed weakness and that the strong thing to do, the right thing to do, was to persevere.

 

This really resonated with me.  I’m the queen of motivation and pushing forward in life.  That’s wonderful in most situations, but I can think of a few instances where it didn’t quite benefit me.  For example, there was the time I stayed at a certain job that was so incredibly wrong for me that it was obvious to everyone but me.  I fought the urge daily, thinking that it actually made me a stronger person to fight this urge.  I believed that I would persevere and rise above as the winner.

 

I didn’t. It was a romantic thought but definitely not based in reality. I wasn’t listening to my honest self. If I had listened to my honest self, it would have been screaming back at me to “exit as quickly as possible”.

 

This doesn’t only happen in your career. This happens in your friendships. At some point in your life, you will hold on to a friendship that is way past its expiration date.  At some point, you will realize that the friendship is imbalanced and not functioning well. Despite this fact, you will try harder and harder to make it work. You will take on more responsibility than you should and try desperately to breathe life into something that needs to be let go.  You will convince yourself that the right thing to do is to try harder, because that’s what strong people do. That’s what motivated, successful people do.

 

You’re wrong.

 

I don’t even want to get into intimate relationships.  I’m sure that you’ve had the experience where you’re working much harder than your significant other to build the relationship. You probably convinced yourself that it’s the honorable, right thing to do.  It shows strength and reveals your character.

 

You might be wrong again.

 

What I’m trying to say is that having perseverance is a respectable trait. Being strong and refusing to back down to your competition is admirable. However, there are going to be certain times in your life that it really doesn’t apply.  It calls for you to stop battling and take a step back.  Dig down deep inside and check in with YOU. Maybe the best thing for you to do is cut your losses and move on.

 

Sometimes it shows even more strength and success if you just walk away.

 

 

Relationship Advice

Miles and I are pretty firm in our routine.  He knows that I always feed him dinner and take him for a walk around 4 or 5 o’clock. If I’m in the house starting around 2 o’clock, I can count on him to be glued to my side.  Every time I make a move, he’s right there.  If I’m working at my desk, he will sit beside me and stare. He’ll be watching for any sign of movement, signaling my possible descent downstairs to his food bowl.  Watching his behavior, you would think that I never feed him.

 

By about 4 o ‘clock, I can no longer stand the feeling of someone staring at me and I make my way to the kitchen.  I feed him and get his leash ready for the walk.  He scarfs down the food morsels within a 20 second span and then turns to me for the next act.

 

Today, I felt pretty lucky that I was able to walk him before the big downpour of rain.  The weather was just perfect— sunshine with a nice breeze to cool things down.  As usual, Miles walked fast and insisted on leaving his calling card on every single bush and tree within a 2-block radius.  When we turned around and began our walk back to the house, Miles sat down.  He sprawled out under a tree and decided he was done.  I didn’t notice this detail, so I continued to walk until the long, taut leash pulled me back.

 

I told Miles that he could take a little break but then we were going to go back home.  When I got close to him, he quickly turned over on his back to show me he was ready to get picked up.  I tried to “marionette” him to walk but that didn’t work.  Frustrated and angry, I finally gave up and picked him up.  Miles seemed quite content with my decision.

 

I listen daily to successful women that are unhappy with the relationships in their lives.  They want the people in their professional or personal lives to change and they ask my advice as how to make this happen. They have a proactive approach to life and are very problem/solution oriented. All of this is wonderful but they’re leaving out one very important detail.  You can’t make people change and you can’t convince people that they need to change.  In fact, the harder you try, the less effective you will be.

 

You can, however, change your own part in the scenario.  A relationship is dynamic and if you change your own behavior, then the other individual’s behavior will also have to adapt.  It might take time before you see the desired changes in the other individual, but it’s definitely an empowering and healthy way to handle the situation.

 

Now, back to Miles.  I was livid with Miles when he was lying under the tree and expected me to pick him up. I could swear he had a smile on his face. But who was really responsible for this travesty? What had I taught him to expect from me?  He had the routine down from the signs that I was getting ready to feed him until the moment that I gave in and picked him up.   I had trained him on this whole experience.

 

However, if I changed my behavior, he would also have to make some changes.  Maybe the first time, things wouldn’t go so smooth, but if I stayed the course on this new change, the Pug would eventually have no choice but to adapt.

It’s really not that different with humans.

 

Six Signs You Need to Leave

I’ve been there a couple of times in my career and I can still remember how horrible it felt. I’m talking about that feeling at work when there are too many hours in the day and days in the week. You’re constantly watching the clock and living for when you go on your next vacation. You are unhappy.

 

If anyone is experiencing those feelings right now, it could very well be a sign that you need to leave your job. Here are 6 similar signs that indicate you might need to make a change in your life as quickly as possible:

 

Your anxiety heightens the closer you get to your workplace.

Are you in a bad mood every Sunday because Monday morning work is fast approaching?  Does your angst increase the closer you get to the office building?  Do you get a pit in your stomach on your drive to the office? When just thinking about going to work makes you feel sick, heed the warning. These are all indicators that you’re in need of a major change in your life.

 

You spend a lot of time rationalizing why your job is perfect for you.

Actually, I speak from experience on this one. I remember spending the entire drive to work rationalizing why this job was good for me. The hours were great, I didn’t have to work that hard, and I made decent money. I also remember spending the whole drive home doing the exact same thing. The funny thing is, I never felt any better when I was done with this brain exercise. You know why? It’s because I wasn’t listening to my heart.

 

You’re easily bothered by even the smallest things at work.

When you’re at the wrong job, everything bugs you.  Mary, in the next cubicle, gets on your nerves.  John, your manager, irritates you because of his brown-nosing ways.  You spend the days obsessing about these irritations and blow them way out of proportion. You spend the evenings rehashing the stories with all your friends and family. The more you talk, the worse you feel. You waste numerous hours ruminating about these silly interactions because you’re unhappy.

 

You’re jealous of your friend’s career and more.

You think that everyone is better off than you.  Everyone has a better career, makes more money, goes on great vacations and has a better family situation. You might even have difficulty helping good friends celebrate accomplishments and happy times. When you’re really unhappy in your job, you have difficulty seeing reality. You view the world through dirty, dusty glasses.

 

Your energy level is lower than normal.

Not only is your energy level low, you just don’t feel so great.  You keep trying to push yourself, but you certainly don’t feel like YOU!  The stress level lowers your immune system and the constant anxiety is exhausting. Don’t underestimate how being in a job that feels like an uphill battle eventually takes a toll on your body, physically and emotionally.

 

You’re not doing your best work.

The truth is that you’re sliding by. You’re producing average work and getting through the days. No one really notices that you’re not doing your best and you rationalize that fact (see sign #2).  However, not doing your best work feels horrible and does a number on your self-esteem.  Not being challenged and able to fully utilize your strengths just doesn’t feel good.

 

If any of this sounds even vaguely familiar to you, then maybe you need to contemplate some changes. Don’t waste another day settling for this existence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Six Signs You Need to Leave

I’ve been there a couple of times in my career and I can still remember how horrible it felt. I’m talking about that feeling at work when there are too many hours in the day and days in the week. You’re constantly watching the clock and living for when you go on your next vacation. You are unhappy.

 

If anyone is experiencing those feelings right now, it could very well be a sign that you need to leave your job. Here are 6 similar signs that indicate you might need to make a change in your life as quickly as possible:

 

Your anxiety heightens the closer you get to your workplace.

Are you in a bad mood every Sunday because Monday morning work is fast approaching?  Does your angst increase the closer you get to the office building?  Do you get a pit in your stomach on your drive to the office? When just thinking about going to work makes you feel sick, heed the warning. These are all indicators that you’re in need of a major change in your life.

 

You spend a lot of time rationalizing why your job is perfect for you.

Actually, I speak from experience on this one. I remember spending the entire drive to work rationalizing why this job was good for me. The hours were great, I didn’t have to work that hard, and I made decent money. I also remember spending the whole drive home doing the exact same thing. The funny thing is, I never felt any better when I was done with this brain exercise. You know why? It’s because I wasn’t listening to my heart.

 

You’re easily bothered by even the smallest things at work.

When you’re at the wrong job, everything bugs you.  Mary, in the next cubicle, gets on your nerves.  John, your manager, irritates you because of his brown-nosing ways.  You spend the days obsessing about these irritations and blow them way out of proportion. You spend the evenings rehashing the stories with all your friends and family. The more you talk, the worse you feel. You waste numerous hours ruminating about these silly interactions because you’re unhappy.

 

You’re jealous of your friend’s career and more.

You think that everyone is better off than you.  Everyone has a better career, makes more money, goes on great vacations and has a better family situation. You might even have difficulty helping good friends celebrate accomplishments and happy times. When you’re really unhappy in your job, you have difficulty seeing reality. You view the world through dirty, dusty glasses.

 

Your energy level is lower than normal.

Not only is your energy level low, you just don’t feel so great.  You keep trying to push yourself, but you certainly don’t feel like YOU!  The stress level lowers your immune system and the constant anxiety is exhausting. Don’t underestimate how being in a job that feels like an uphill battle eventually takes a toll on your body, physically and emotionally.

 

You’re not doing your best work.

The truth is that you’re sliding by. You’re producing average work and getting through the days. No one really notices that you’re not doing your best and you rationalize that fact (see sign #2).  However, not doing your best work feels horrible and does a number on your self-esteem.  Not being challenged and able to fully utilize your strengths just doesn’t feel good.

 

If any of this sounds even vaguely familiar to you, then maybe you need to contemplate some changes. Don’t waste another day settling for this existence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Asking For It

The first time he mentioned it, we were in the middle of a pleasant conversation.  We were talking about getting a gym membership and my son worked it into the conversation. “You should consider letting me have your treadmill,” he said.  Then he continued, “You guys aren’t using it at all. I bet you haven’t used that thing for a couple of years. Do you think that you could get Dad to agree to give it up?”  I knew how my husband felt about giving up his treadmill or any of his possessions. He becomes attached to things. Somehow, just having it take up space in our extra bedroom makes him happy.

 

I responded with, “You’ll have to ask your Dad about that one.”  My first thought was that I had absolutely no problem letting the treadmill go— but it took two votes to make it happen.  He continued with his persuasive skills and shared how it would be very convenient for him to workout at the end of the day.  He stated that it would make his life so much easier and would offer him the ability to work off steam so he could tackle his academic work.

 

Two weeks later, we were having a nice talk when the conversation turned to working out.  “Have you and dad discussed the treadmill?”  I replied that I had forgotten about it the minute we got off the phone.  “The weather is getting really cold and it would be so much easier to run on the treadmill inside. I have the perfect place for it now that we’re in the new apartment.” I asked him how he would get the treadmill to his house and he had the perfect answer. “I can come get it with a rented truck.”

 

Yesterday, I was asking him what he and his girlfriend need or want this year, and he gave me a couple ideas of what they could use. Then he continued, “You know, that treadmill would make a great gift. We could both make use of it during the next couple months.”

 

After I got off the phone, I began thinking about the treadmill.  But more than the treadmill itself, I was thinking about his strategy in acquiring it. His ability to see beyond the “NO” was just astounding!  Each time that we had discussed the possible acquisition of the treadmill, I had either said no or gave no response. He had called his dad and his dad had said no.  But that didn’t deter him.  He just kept on going, weaving this into each conversation in a very natural way.  He never came on too aggressive to the point where I was irritated.  We just discussed it enough that it started to sound like a good idea.  Not only that, but it started to sound like an idea that was going to happen.

 

Yes, now that I think about it, we could all use some lessons from Zach.  He has perfected the art of asking for the sale. He doesn’t back down from his no while reminding the person why they need to make this good decision.  A strategy that makes the other person realize that not only should they buy into the idea, but they’ll feel “darn good” about buying into the idea.

 

If you’re in business, take heed to this— internalize this principle.  Most individuals don’t get the deal because they think no really means no. But no should really mean, “I might be convinced in the near future, but right now I can’t commit.”

 

Zach had a long-term strategy to closing this deal.  He needed to finesse the situation and keep his eye on the goal.

 

Whether you’re building your business, working in sales, or just trying to win that promotion, you’ll eventually need to ask for it.  And, chances are, you’ll be shot down the first time around.  But remember to do a “Zach” and keep focused on your goal. Be patient, keep your eye on the prize and remind them of why it’s the absolute best decision they can make.

Life Lessons Learned From a Pup

After Willie the pug passed on to Dog Heaven, my husband refused to entertain any discussions about getting another dog. What’s funny about this scenario is that it was HIM that had insisted on getting Willie in the first place. When my oldest son started third grade, my husband decided that it was time to get a dog. I hadn’t grown up with dogs, so I discouraged any movement in this direction. I grew up in a cat family and I felt more comfortable around them since I had no idea what to do with a dog. I felt totally fulfilled having Fred, the cat.

 

My husband eventually won the war and he found Willie through a Rescue organization. We came to love Willie, even though we spent numerous hours searching for Willie in the neighborhood. Willie had a penchant for “being on the run” and I suppose that’s how he came to be a rescue dog. He perfected his getaway through a tiny space in the fence. The whole family toiled away hours searching for him again and again. In fact, when people would see me driving around the area, they would yell to me “I’ll keep an eye out for Willie.” They didn’t know my name, but they definitely knew his.

 

The point is that Willie wasn’t the easiest first dog. That’s probably why when he died my husband said, “no more dogs.” But I was insistent — I wanted another dog. In fact, I wanted another dog so much that I researched pugs all over Ohio, Indiana and Kentucky, determined to find the right one. The person that didn’t want the dog became insistent on having another dog.

 

With my husband out of town, I drove down to Lexington to pick out a dog. My 17-year-old son fought for the youngest puppy but I set eyes on 6-month-old Miles and knew he was “the one.” We brought him home and I took full responsibility for him. Let’s face it, this was my dog — which is ironic since I originally didn’t even know what to do with a dog!

 

During this time, I was working as a Mental Health Therapist in Social Services. On Mondays, the Psychiatrist would come in to see my clients and prescribe medications. We were eating lunch together and talking when I shared with him my story about picking out Miles, the Pug. “Hmmmm…interesting,” he said.

 

“You do understand why you insisted on getting the dog, don’t you? That dog is a replacement for your children that are almost grown and gone. It gives you something to nurture and love — it’s a healthy way to handle your loss.” What a typical statement from a Psychiatrist! Then, for the next few minutes, I mulled over what he had shared.

 

I had to admit it, but he nailed it! That’s exactly what I was doing; I just wasn’t cognizant of my intentions at the time. That dog was mine and I treated him like a child. I had found a way to deal with the fact that my life was transitioning to a new phase. I was preparing myself for the change in my life by having a new little one to nurture and care for. I did it so effortlessly that I hadn’t even noticed what I was doing.

 

When life changes, you have a couple of options on how to handle it. You can keep looking back and lamenting on how you don’t want your life to change and hang on to the past like there’s no tomorrow. I can pretty much guarantee this option won’t make you very happy. Or, you can accept reality, learn a little more about YOU and figure out how to fill that need in your life in a positive, healthy manner. Delve a bit deeper and discover what will satisfy you today and in the future.

 

And it won’t be the worst thing in the world for you to come home with a dog.

Making Time

I was talking with someone in a bookstore a couple weeks ago and the topic turned to losing weight.  She was sharing how she knew that she needed to eat right and workout, but she just didn’t have the time.  She had two kids, a part-time job and a husband— this kept her very busy. She even went as far as to share her daily schedule with me to prove her point.  Yes, she was very busy, but that really isn’t the point. You know why? Because the truth is that we make time for things in life that are a priority to us.

 

I’ll bet that there’s part of her that really doesn’t want to exercise.  Maybe she’s stuck in a rut or maybe she enjoys sleeping in late in the morning.  It could be that it just doesn’t bother her enough to take action. On an intellectual level, she knows that it would be healthy for her to start an exercise regime.  However, on an emotional level, she just isn’t ready to take action.  Regardless of why, the fact that she’s busy is nothing more than an excuse.  Making the change is just not that high on her priority list.

 

When I walked in my backyard 30 minutes ago, I was shocked to see my tomato plant wilting. The leaves on the bottom half of the plant were turning brown and it was slightly tilting to the right.  My hydrangea was wilted and the flowers were curling up.  The petunias that always thrive in their beds didn’t look so hot. When I walked around front, I noticed that my two pots with planted begonias by the front door were beyond hope.  I was stunned.

 

I immediately looked for reasons this could have occurred.  Is it possible that there’s something wrong with the soil?  Could it be that I bought “bad plants” this year?  It must be the extreme heat that’s affecting my plants. Yes, that’s it. I decided that it must be the heat.  I’m sure that the plants are just getting way too much sun.

 

I went back to my desk to work and then it occurred to me.  Maybe I was just like my new friend in the bookstore. I’m unhappy with my circumstances in life, so I’m searching for something that takes the heat off of me. If I blame it on the plants, then I don’t need to take responsibility for the consequence.  The bottom line is this, the plants were dying because I wasn’t giving them the care and time that they needed.  I wasn’t making my plants a priority.

 

I guess it always goes back to the same point— the way to move ahead in life is by being honest with YOU.  By being truthful about the issues with my horticulture, I’m able to face the fact that I need to reassess what I want to make important in my life.  So what about you? Have you been guilty of that overused excuse that you don’t have time?  Is it honestly a priority for you?  Give it some though

Competitive Tree Climbing

 

I’m beginning to notice a pattern when I speak with women about finding their strengths and passions in life.  Often, there is some confusion surrounding the process to finding your “real” self. For example, at the last “Sassy Girlfriend Talk”, we were discussing what you enjoyed doing when you were young.  The reason I always ask this question is because usually, when we are young, we partake in activities that us bring us joy and seem natural to us. This is before we have been influenced by what is culturally acceptable and valued in our family and community.  It’s usually when we are innocent and most pure to who we are.  I remarked that one of the things I remember enjoying was climbing trees. I was always the fastest to climb up and the one at the very top of the tree.  One of the women commented that there isn’t much work needed in the city of Cincinnati in the business of “Climbing trees”.  I agree, which leads me to share a couple misconceptions about finding your strengths.

 

Translating your passions in life is not always a literal process. My love of climbing trees and being the highest one up in the tree translates to my need to be challenged.  It translates to my need to be physical and active in my life. I feel most like “me” when using my physical skills and when I’m able to expend some energy.  It’s not surprising then, that in the last couple years I discovered my love of meeting challenges through biking.  So, when you’re searching for your passions, be open- minded to understanding how you can interpret what brought you joy and happiness as a child.  How can that feeling be recreated today?

 

Whether she believes it or not, EVERY woman possesses strengths and passions.  I get the strong feeling that some women I come across want to convince me that they are different from others and just don’t have any strengths or talents unique to them.  I’m here today to tell you that that’s simply not true!  Maybe you haven’t taken the time to truly get to know yourself and explore different interests. Possibly, you’re just scared to take a risk and try new things, so you stay with what’s safe.  Maybe you’ve wrapped yourself around your family so tight that there’s no more room for your own passions. Your family’s interests and activities rule your life, and you run from thing to thing staying busy. The truth is, they are there, girlfriend.  You need to give yourself the space to discover them.

 

It’s possible to passionately love taking part in an activity and eventually tire of it.  My first job out of college was in retailing, where I was promoted quickly through their management program. I was able to play an instrumental part of their phenomenal growth as a company.  I LOVED my job! It wasn’t work for me because I was able to utilize all my strengths: my management skills, people skills, my love of fashion etc.  I was very successful and was being groomed for the Director of Operations position.  But guess what happened? I became burned out and I yearned to do something very different in life. It’s possible to tire of using those specific skills in that specific realm and to need to have an entirely new challenge.  Say it with me— There is not one thing I am destined to be or do in my life!  Does that take some pressure off of you?

 

Listen girlfriends, each one of you has passions and strengths that possibly you have yet to discover. Try to remember that finding yourself is a continual process throughout life.  So, don’t waste anymore time living your life without going after what burns brightly in your heart.  Do the work needed to find where you belong.