Keeping the Faith

can-you-give-someone-a-helping-hand-429094631On my way home from grocery shopping, I received a desperate text that we were in dire need of kitty litter. I pulled into the pet store and finally located the overpriced brand that my cats seem to prefer. When I grabbed the huge 30 lb. bag, I noticed that the price was at least 7 dollars more than I usually pay. I took it up to the counter and kindly asked if they could match the price. The sales clerk smiled and said they would call another store and check the current price.

 

This whole fiasco took at least 15 minutes. She helped other customers and continued to wait on hold with the other store. I figured that she was losing her patience. However, she showed no sign of anger about the situation and eventually sold it to me for 7 dollars less, with a smile on her face.

 

I thought to myself— she didn’t have to do that.

 

I lugged the huge 30 lb. bag out to my car. I was struggling to hold on and open the door when a man came out of nowhere. He grabbed the bag from me and asked me where I wanted it. Somehow he showed up exactly when I needed a helping hand.

 

I thought to myself— he didn’t have to do that.

 

When I got home, I went outside to rake some of the leaves blanketing my front yard. Believe me, it was so overwhelming. My neighbor was out there too. I worked for a while, raking together a huge pile that was going to take me forever to bag up. I went in to eat lunch and heard the doorbell ring. Standing there was the little boy next door with a smile on his face. He wanted to help me rake the leaves. We had fun working together and he made the time go so much faster.

 

I thought to myself— he didn’t have to do that.

 

All of us can agree that this election season has been downright ugly. Everywhere you go, that ugliness hangs in the air. I see it on Social Media, in stores, work and home. People are angry, desperate and some are feeling out of control. That anger and heaviness follows us throughout the day. It’s a burden that we carry into every conversation and every relationship— even at work. We might not bring up the topic but the ugliness and heaviness is still there.

 

It becomes “Us vs. Them”. How could she feel that way? How could he be so WRONG? How could people be so cruel and out of touch? And then we start generalizing and placing people into neat little categories. The thinking is black and white and you are either good or bad.

 

But here’s the truth about people. Those good Samaritans that helped me today don’t necessarily agree with me on politics. Yet, they were kind, helpful and went out of their way to support me. They went above and beyond and expected nothing in return.

 

 

People are complicated. Other’s views and perspectives can be difficult to understand especially from OUR PERSPECTIVE.

 

So don’t lose faith during this time. Take a deep breath and try to give other people space for their own beliefs. We have much more in common than we realize.

 

Most people are good.

 

 

Making the Right Decision

image taking controlI was discussing an upcoming training with a client the other day when she informed me that one of the key employees wouldn’t be able to make it. If we didn’t present the training on our previously planned date, it would have to be postponed for some time. I immediately responded that we should postpone the training for a couple months until everyone can be present.

 

My client responded by disagreeing with me and insisting that we go ahead with the training. My first thought was that she just didn’t understand the whole situation. Surely, she could see how her thinking was wrong. However, as I continued to truly listen to her reasoning, I began to change my perspective. I actually began to see why her thinking made sense. She did understand what we were trying to accomplish and had already given the dilemma much thought.

 

I was speaking from my experience, my knowledge of the situation and from my vantage point. I was making my best judgment. However, she shared new information, and made the case as to why this was the right decision. After receiving additional information, I agreed to moving forward with her plan.

 

So remember when I said that I listened and realized that in light of some new compelling information, I might be incorrect? That’s where a lot of leaders fail in their quest to be successful. They are strong in the concept of making decisions and leading the team, but might not be making the BEST decision because they just won’t listen.

 

Here are a couple principles to think about next time you are in this situation:

 

Someone else might have a better idea and that’s O.K.

So here’s the truth: Sometimes it’s not easy for leaders and influencers to like other ideas better then their own. Leaders are confident in their actions. However, leaders can LEARN to step back and truly listen and respect other’s opinions and judgments. This skill can be developed with constant practice.

 

Focus on the best outcome, not on who had the best idea

Focus less on being right or wrong and more on what the best outcome is for the team. Drop the ego and ask yourself: Will this decision accomplish our goals? Will this decision get us to where we want to go? How will we see the results that we desire?

 

Truly listen to others when they share their opinion

If I had not actively listened to my client, I would have still been stuck on my original assessment. We would have postponed the training and it would have been the wrong decision for everyone. However, once I heard her additional information and put it in context for this situation, I realized that I didn’t have all the pieces of the puzzle. Actively listening means that I am able to get outside what going on in my own head and what my needs are in the situation. I am able to take a birds-eye view of the situation and see the objective facts.

 

Think about this the next time you have a discussion and there is a decision to be made. Consciously step back and truly listen to the reasoning. Don’t let emotion and ego get in the way of you reaching the best outcome.