Take Action

On 4th of July weekend, my husband and I drove up to Chicago to spend a few days away.  We felt pretty lucky that we planned the trip that specific weekend since it ended up raining almost every day at home.  With the weather beautiful, we spent time shopping, eating and just relaxing. We rented bikes and rode 42 miles along the lake.  Needless to say, the trip allowed us to relax and let go of the stressors of everyday life.

 

When we got back Sunday evening, I had a list of tasks to accomplish; I woke up especially early to start tackling my list.  I calculated how much time I needed to workout, get dressed, do some paperwork and then leave for my jam-packed day. I had everything scheduled down to the minute, which, as you know, is always when your life deviates from your plan.

 

I ate breakfast and got in my car to go to the gym.  I backed out of the drive and pulled into the street. My stereo was blasting from the last time I had been in the car. When I hit the street, something made me turn down the stereo, and listen more carefully. I could swear that I had heard a strange sound emanating from my car. Since my car was still in reverse, I rolled a little further back while listening.  Something just didn’t sound right. That’s when I caught a glimpse of the driveway.  There were dark tire marks covering the entire driveway. Confused, I pulled forward into the driveway and got out of my car.

 

I walked around the car and looked at my tires. My front passenger tire confirmed my suspicions.  The tire wasn’t just a little flat; it had absolutely no air in the tire! My first thought was how did this happen? My tires had been fine last night when I went to the store. My second thought was how this was going to impact my whole day. I mentally went through the list of responsibilities that I had that day.  The feelings of stress and anxiety quickly took over my body. I was definitely pushed against the wall and I felt my blood pressure begin to rise. How quickly my feelings of calm and relaxation from my recent getaway had turned into stress again!

 

That’s when I decided to take control of the situation.  I thought about how I wasn’t going to focus on this negative turn of events but I WAS going to be solution oriented.  I went into action and asked my husband to help me change the tire.  I planned out how I would handle the rest of the day’s responsibilities and went in the house to make calls.  I reorganized my schedule and just kept moving forward. I spent time at the tire store only to find out they couldn’t do it until the next day.  I muttered the mantra “It is what is” probably a thousand times within 48 hours.  Saying these words enabled me to move forward and not focus on how today was supposed to be so different than the way it was turning out.

 

It’s hard to get through life without eventually having these types of mishaps. Bad things happen when you least expect them, especially when you can’t afford the time, energy or money for them to happen. You feel a total loss of control over the situation, which then results in stress and anxiety. The bottom line is that you need to take control of the situation to feel better. Focus on taking action to solve your immediate problem, instead of wasting time and energy thinking about what should or could have been.  It is what it is. Trust me, it’s a much smarter, happier, and more effective way to live your life.

Past Memories

I woke up Sunday morning, excited to go on my bike ride. I did one last check on the weather and confirmed that it wasn’t predicted to rain until the afternoon. According to my calculations, we would be able to ride at least 60 miles and be back before the downpour.

 

I threw my bike shorts and shoes in a pile on the floor and walked over to the drawer where I keep my bike shirts.  As the drawer opened, I spied my shirt choices.  There, front and center was my purple bike shirt.  I reached for it, and in the span of a few seconds, I relived all the memories.

 

You see, my purple bike shirt has some “baggage”.  It’s the shirt that I was wearing at the Cincinnati Ride event, where things didn’t go so well. I ended up flipping my bike and landing on my head. Firsthand, I experienced an exciting rescue squad ride to the University of Cincinnati Emergency room. The end result was some serious road rash and a bruised, dislocated shoulder that haunted me for a good 2-3 months afterward.

 

While reaching for the shirt, I honestly felt all the feelings that I had on that fateful day. In the span of a few seconds, I felt a myriad of emotions— none of them remotely positive. Quickly, I let go of the shirt. It was as if it was tainted and couldn’t be worn safely again.  I sifted through my shirts, looking for a better one for the trip, one that didn’t make me feel so uneasy. And then my conscious thinking took over.

 

I stared at the purple shirt and thought things through, pragmatically.  “Why are you afraid to wear that shirt? Do you really think you’ll fall every time you have that shirt on?” I questioned my thinking and came up short. It just didn’t make much sense. My negative thinking and fear was not rooted in reality. There was absolutely no evidence to prove that I would fall off my bike again if I wore that shirt.  In a show of defiance, I grabbed the shirt, yanked it over my head and willed myself to let go of the negative thinking.

 

I only caught myself thinking about it once during the journey.  As soon as it popped in my head, I forced myself to let it go by redirecting my thinking to something more pleasant. In the end, I had a safe ride and enjoyed myself.

 

Later, I gave thought to the whole morning incident. Just the sight of my shirt had brought on such intense emotions and almost stopped me in my tracks.  In those few seconds, I could conjure up the sights, sounds, and emotions of the whole experience.

 

And there you have it.  Simmering just beneath the surface are many memories of your past experiences, some good and some not so good. Some of those painful memories are so intense that you may lose sight of the fact that it’s part of your past and not your present. At times, it sure feels like it’s NOW, the pain is so real.

The point is that you can’t let these memories inhibit your ability to see the truth in your present! Question your fear, take control of the situation and don’t let anything stop you from moving forward into your future.

 

 

Dr. Seuss

While perusing the web, I came across an image of Dr. Seuss and a picture of “Green Eggs and Ham.” That single image took me back to the years when I would read his many books to my boys. I remember how they had memorized every word even before they had learned how to read. I loved Dr. Seuss rhymes and enjoyed the books just as much as my sons.

 

What hadn’t occurred to me those many years ago was the insight and wisdom that Dr. Seuss possessed. Sure, the rhymes were catchy, but there was more to it than that. His perception into what truly mattered in life was pretty impressive.

 

So in honor of the Dr., I’d like to share some of his words of wisdom.

 

“You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own and you know what you know. And you are the one that will decide where to go.” What an empowering statement! You are in control of your own destiny and are capable of anything you set your mind to. You know YOU better than anyone else. All you need to do is trust yourself and follow your heart. You have the control to shape your future and make things happen. The decision is yours.

 

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” Isn’t that the truth? How often do we make things so much harder than they have to be? As a Women’s Success Coach, I can attest to the fact that often women make their decision-making process much more complicated than it has to be. Invariably, the process involves spiraling thoughts sprinkled with many “what-ifs”, even when the answer is right before their eyes.

 

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out” I understand why we would share this with our kids— we want our kids to be comfortable in their own skin and be true to who they are. However, let’s be honest here: I come across many women that are still struggling with this concept. They are trying to fit into the mold of other’s expectations, instead of being true to themselves. It’s so much easier to just be YOU!

 

“You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.” Of course you will! This is the number one reason the coaching process doesn’t end up working. You need to be willing to see that there could be an alternative way to approach life. You need to be willing to open yourself up and be vulnerable. Processing new information can change the way you see the world. You need to be open to CHANGE. It’s possible that a change can be the best thing that ever happened to you.

 

“You can get help from teachers but you are going to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.” Well said, Dr. Suess! Having an understanding of who you are and what you need in life comes with time spent alone. Many women fill every waking minute with activities because they’re scared to feel what’s going on inside of them. Take the time and become acquainted with you and what you need to be happy. That is the most important thing you can learn.

 

When he worked he really worked. But when he played, he really played. I want you to read this one again. I come across numerous women that work way too hard and have difficulty letting go and enjoying life. Dr. Seuss had it right; what’s the use of working so hard if you don’t get to reap the benefits? Be passionate in your work AND your play.

 

See what I mean? Take his words to heart and go after your dreams. These quotes are as relevant in your life today as they were when you were a child. Dr. Seuss believes in you (and so do I).

Eyes Wide Open

I never thought about it until my son mentioned it the last time he was home.  We were hanging out in the family room and kitchen area when he looked up at the walls. “You know, you really need to repaint the kitchen and you need to get something new on the windows.”  I just stared at him as he went on. “It’s been that color for a long time and I think you need to update the whole thing”.

 

The first thing that surprised me was the fact that my son was noticing the decorating in the house.  The second thing to surprise me happened when I looked at the walls.  It was as if I was looking at the kitchen for the very first time in years, and I was shocked.  He’s right, I thought.  It’s been the same way for years and I really need to change the color and update the windows.  How did I not see that?

 

I was going for a walk last night without the dog.  I purposely didn’t take my music because I just wanted to enjoy the outdoors and hear the sounds around me.  I had walked a while and made it to a few streets beyond my neighborhood when I looked across the road.  There, in the front yard of a house, was the biggest dead tree I had ever seen.  I scanned the tree to see if it was, indeed dead, or if there was a least a piece of it still alive.  No, I was absolutely 100% sure that the tree was dead.  It was the first thing I saw when I looked into the yard.  To say it was an eyesore is an understatement.

 

I then ran through a number of scenarios as to why the owners had not done something about the tree.  Scenario Number 1 involved the possibility that they were hoping it was going to get healthier, but my gut said it had looked that way for a long time.  Scenario Number 2 involved the family not having the funds to remove the tree. Scenario Number 3 was the one that I decided made the most sense— they were so used to seeing the tree in the front yard that they really didn’t “see” it anymore.

 

Just like the update needed in my house, the owners probably didn’t even pay attention to it anymore.  They went about the business of living and were completely oblivious to the glaring eyesore in their front yard.

 

And the question for you is the following— what aspect of your life do you need to update?  What piece of your life needs a fresh eye? There’s a good chance you’re in need of some updating or renovation. Maybe it’s your relationship or possibly it’s your job. It’s great that you’ve found your groove, but it’s now become a deep rut. You’re so entrenched in the daily grind and life’s minutiae that you can no longer clearly see the big picture.

 

So, I’m asking you to take a step back and do an honest assessment. Take a hard look at the different aspects of your life and decide whether you are pleased with the direction you are headed.  Are you living your dreams or are you settling? Have you been ignoring an area that you need to address? Do you see the reality?

 

My suggestion to you is to not only take a fresh look at your life but when you note some needed updating, you get into action and make the changes. As for me, I’ll be at the store studying paint colors.